


Undiscovered Love

by Ziane



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Romance, Slow Burn, shega
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-24
Updated: 2017-12-23
Packaged: 2019-01-22 09:58:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 41,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12478968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ziane/pseuds/Ziane
Summary: Lieutenant James Vega found himself in love with Commander Alice Shepard. He will follow her to hell and back.





	1. Prologue - Home

**Author's Note:**

> This Prologue was inspired by Mass Effect: Conviction mini-comic about James Vega. I do now own this work and there are multiple references to it, I encourage you to read it!
> 
> I also used the http://masseffect.wikia.com/ to find information about the Mass Effect world.
> 
> English is not my mother tongue so I apologize in advance for any mistakes and I am open to suggestions and ways to improve my writing.

Omega, the heart of evil, a city built in a mining asteroid, a haven for criminals and people that don’t want to be found. Just like James Vega. No authority besides Aria, a criminal mind that rules there as a queen, someone you just don’t want to mess with. She reigns Omega with an iron hand after she betrayed his boss and defeated him in single combat, usurping the throne. But this lost city it’s richer than it looks, it drinks directly from the element zero inside it. Take control of the station and you’re rich, that’s why the war between the criminal bands is permanent, a constant fight over power and control. Gun smuggling, red sand and mercenaries were the norms at the jellyfish-like station. The population on Omega, besides thieves and outlaws, was a mixture of races, the only rule was not to fuck with Aria T’Loak, and, so far they obeyed. She is Omega.

Since Fehl Prime James was a mess. He couldn’t get over the fact that he chose to save Treeya and the Intel instead of the colony. Guilt was eating him alive while he tried to get back to his life, to his job as a military soldier. He didn’t even feel like Lieutenant James Vega anymore and they even commended him for his actions, like he was some kind of hero. He felt empty and devastated, he was no hero to those people that died. He was no hero to his _chispita_. At first, when he said his goodbyes at the Memorial wall near the remainings of the colony he thought he could get over it, that he could continue with his duty as an Alliance marine. But after some months of living like a hollow man, like a robot, he realized his career was over. His life was over. There was no way he could forget those deaths and they were a heavy burden on his conscience. He even forgot about Treeya soon after what happened in Fehl Prime, he once had believed he was in love with her but now he couldn’t even look at her, it hurt too much.

The real turning point was when Commander Shepard destroyed the Collector Base. James was euphoric at first, the nightmare was over, justice had been served by a real war hero, not him. And then he realized the intel he had provided was now probably useless, he let the colonists die for nothing, and anger overwhelmed him. Fucking Commander Shepard, she always took the right choice, never making mistakes, she always managed to be the hero and save us all while he had to endure and live with one of the most difficult decisions in his life… and he made the wrong choice. He was sure of it now.

After that, he couldn’t even keep up with his day, the nightmares were getting worse, he was  barely sleeping, and he couldn’t focus on anything. The pain was unbearable. He had reached his limit. On one shore leave he packed all his things, he wasn’t thinking straight, he just wanted to run away from this and bury himself into despair. And he just left the quarters and then the Alliance camp he was staying into.

James tried to call his tío from the station. His omnitool burned in his arm. “ _Last call for passengers to the Terminus System_ ”, a robotic voice informed him. “Mierda,” he hesitated for a moment. James finally called him.

“James, so happy to hear from you, kid. How are you doing?” His tío was happy after so many months without a call from him.

“Tio, I’m leaving for a while. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine, but I need to clear my head and I can’t do that here. I’ll call you again when I can.”

“But where are you going? What happens with the Alliance?” Emilio asked, filled with concern.

“I don’t know. I really don’t know. I'm going to the Terminus System. I’ll be fine, I'm sorry to disappoint you.” He hung up as soon as he finished his sentence and looked at the ship that was taking him to hell. To Omega.

That was two months ago. James had wasted his time and his credits in Omega gambling, drinking and fighting. His little routine consisted of waking up in the morning, alone in his own bed, with a little bit of luck; to shove some food into his system, and to go out to one of the numerous dens that the city had for him. He’d been doing that on repeat until his brain stopped working, the pain started to numb, and the nightmares were more occasional than regular. The guilt stayed there, though, like a heavy burden over his shoulders.

James opened his eyes and blinked, to find himself in a room he didn’t recognize. _Mierda,_ he thought, _not again._ He felt the pounding on his temples and a headache rumbling all over his head. He stood up to a partly illuminated bedroom. It definitely wasn’t his. He sighed and felt the alcohol in his breath. At least he had slept, he liked when he just blacked out, it was like disconnecting from his mind. He glanced over his shoulder to find a feminine figure resting beside him. He didn’t remember her name, but he remembered her beautiful blonde hair and that he had been checking her out all night. _I’m a fucking asshole_ , he told himself. He carefully left the bed and looked for his boxers. He wandered around the room trying to remember what had happened last night. He found some opened condom wrappers over his jeans. At least he’d been careful. James collected his clothes and got dressed quickly. She stretched herself on the bed, waking up and moaning something unintelligible. That was the sign for him to hurry up and leave her apartment before he had to face how big of an asshole he was.

He left the apartment area and walked the busy streets of the Omega market to find his favorite place to eat, a little food takeaway near the Harrot’s Emporium. He sometimes questioned the health standards of the place but damn if its stew wasn’t the best thing around, and the cook was human, that was a plus.

“Hey, Joe, fix me something?” James sat on one of the stools.

“Jimmy boy! Here, a beer for your hangover.” He gave him a cold beer and opened it in front of him with a pop. “New tattoo?” He said, pointing at his neck and laughing.

James reached his hand to touch his neck and some red lipstick stained his fingers. He blushed and lowered his head, chuckling. “What can I say, Joe? I’m only human.”

The man served him a warm stew and the smell made James feel a lot better. He wolfed the food eagerly, unable to remember the last time he ate. The two men kept a nice chit chat as he was eating and drinking, exchanging some jokes in the meantime.

“You know you can’t keep this up, right Jimmy?” Joe told him after seeing him day after day.

“I know, I know… you always tell me that” James dismissed the conversation he didn’t want to have.

“But I mean it. You’re a good man and you’re wasting here. Go back to the Alliance.” The cook considered himself a friend of his, even if he’d known him only for the last months.

“How did you know?” James frowned at the mention of the Alliance.

“I’ve been here for over twenty years now. I can read people, that’s part of my job. And I like you, Jimmy, you’re a good lad and you don’t belong here,” he explained. “Get out before it’s too late,” he kindly warned him.

“Okay, Joe, things are getting too soft here for me, I’m off to win some credits.” James smiled at him, uncomfortable about being so transparent. He paid and left the place dejected, wandering around the wards. He got used to the awful smell quickly, but the first week it was a nightmare to walk around the lower decks and the vorcha settlements. Now he was there because it was the quickest path to his favorite den: _Tunerron_ , where he had the best -and worst- poker games. The stupid batarians were almost too easy to read, not very smart or cunning for a game of such skill. They usually let their emotions drive their game and that’s when his ability to play poker came into an advantage. Besides, almost every game ended up with a fist fight and that’s exactly what he needed right now.

James entered the bar, he was comfortable around batarians, although there were humans and turians there too. He had learned how to behave around them and to play by their rules but, in the end, all he wanted was to gamble and possibly win some credits. Omega wasn’t an expensive city, but the drinking and the apartment were draining his bank account. The nights around Afterlife’s strippers weren’t cheap either. He leaned over the counter and ordered a whiskey, this wasn’t the place for fancy drinks.

“Is there a game I can join in?” James asked the bartender with a smirk.

“Sure, give them one hour for the break and I’ll cut you in. 1000 credits in advance”. The grumpy bartender told him.

“Big game, huh?” James opened his omnitool and set the credits, ready to pay.

The bartender took them smiling, if you could call that a smile, and nodded at him. “I’ll let you know, human”.

“Hey, you could’ve learned my name by now, Gorlak”, James complained, feeling the excitement running through him.

Anderson didn’t like the idea of being on his own in a recruit mission, but it reminded him the times where he had to chase after Saren on his own; well, with the lovely Kahlee Sanders. He smiled at the thought of her. Anderson was looking for Lieutenant James Vega, he had met him after the Collectors had attacked Fehl Prime, and he had commended him for his actions afterward. The Lieutenant had recovered important data about the Collectors but had to sacrifice the majority of the colonists. When Anderson had read the reports he felt for him, he had to make a tough call and only really good soldiers were able to endure it. And James had. But he was on a leave of absence since his last shore leave and the time was running out. The Alliance wasn’t friendly about deserting, so he needed to find him fast. He had the perfect job for him to get him back on track. Anderson remembered the little commemorative pin of the Normandy SR-1 that James had the day he had met him. _He won’t refuse, and we won’t lose a hell of a soldier_ , he thought.

About week ago, he got a call from Hackett about Shepard. Hackett had sent her on a secret mission, on her own, to rescue Dra. Kenson from a batarian prison. Shepard ended up finding out that she was indoctrinated and that she had intended to let the reapers through the alpha relay despite our own annihilation. The Commander had spent almost three days sedated in the facilities at the asteroid, that was initially going to destroy the relay, and woke up with only 30 minutes to warn the colonies, evac them and save the day. She did, but a great cost. Even if it wasn’t her fault and there was no other way, Anderson trusted her to the heart, she had decided to surrender to the Alliance at the light of the political implications that her actions had had in the galaxy. The batarians were asking for blood to pay for her crime. _It is true, thousands of batarians died that day, but how many would the reapers have killed instead? Us included_. That’s why he needed Lieutenant James Vega, a soldier that had been through hell, just like her, that respected her for what she was and that could understand what she was going through. Besides, he was loyal to the Alliance, or so he had proven so far, and loyal to Shepard, the man worshiped the war hero since he enlisted. He was hoping to lure him out of Omega with the task of being her guard on Earth while the trial took place. James also had to protect her from the batarians that wanted her head, because the Alliance wasn’t going to hand them their own hero, they understood her actions but condemned them anyhow.

Anderson started looking for James by getting in touch with Emilio Vega, James’ uncle, he visited him and the old man urged him to find his nephew. The last time the old man had spoken to him was two months ago and he had told him that he was going to the Terminus System. _What was there to do for a recently commended Alliance Marine?_ _It doesn’t matter, I need him and I won’t let a good soldier rot in Omega_ , or that’s where Anderson thought he’d find him. James had had a rough time after Fehl Prime and that place was perfect to run away from your problems. _If he’s not there I don’t know where else to look for him_ , he wondered. The sight of a red glow over the ship’s window interrupted his thoughts and let him know he had arrived at his destination: Omega.

The city stunk of crime and drugs, the big Afterlife sign was the first thing you saw when you arrived at the main street of Omega. Anderson thought it could be a nice place to start looking. It wasn’t peak hour, so he could get inside easily with some extra credits for the doorman. The atmosphere inside the pub was stifling, people drinking and dancing at a noise that he couldn’t identify as music. Anderson sat on a stool on the counter and he was about to order a drink from a batarian that was looking at him when a turian waiter got to him sooner. He ordered a bourbon. While the turian was serving his drink, Anderson tried to talk to him.

“I’m looking for someone,” Anderson said.

“Like half Omega, human.” The turian was curt.

 _I am rusty,_ Anderson thought, “His name is James Vega, maybe you’ve seen him around here.”

“I know James!”, a really cute and cheerful asari dancer approached him and took a seat at his side. “Big guy with big muscles and a tattoo on his neck?” The bartender left them there to mind his own business.

“I guess that’s my guy.” Anderson said, sipping at his drink.

“You’re not going to do something bad to him, right?” The asari frowned, or tried, because it looked more like a pout to Anderson.

“I’m a friend of his, do I look like a bad guy to you? What’s your name, dear?”

“Lanna, nice to meet you.” She kissed him on the cheek and Anderson startled. _I really am rusty_ , he thought.

“Where can I find him? It’d be a great help, for me and for him.” Anderson hoped she’d buy it.

“He comes to Afterlife sometimes, especially when he has had a good night at poker, I’ve danced for him almost every night he has come here, but I don’t know where he lives or anything. I’m sorry.” Lanna explained to Anderson.

“Anywhere around Omega where I can find him? Where does he play poker? Somewhere he likes to be or maybe eat at?” Anderson was trying to get something from her, but he wasn’t sure if he’d get it.

She stared at the ceiling thoughtfully and then her face brightened up. “He loves to eat at a place near Harrot’s Emporium. He told me that once,” Lanna told Anderson, proud of herself.

“Thank you, dear, you’ve been a great help.” Anderson handed her enough credits for a lap dance and finished his bourbon in one gulp, ready to leave the place.

“Don’t you want your dance?” She said, a little disappointed.

“Maybe later.” Anderson glanced at her and left with a smile on his face, he wasn’t expecting to find innocence in that lawless place. He watched the busy streets of Omega as the evening was taking over the day, and he headed directly towards the market area, hoping to find James today. At least he had confirmed he was on Omega.

James sat at the poker table in a VIP area of the bar. The batarians tilting their heads to the right when they saw him. He had played with a couple of them before, but there were some new faces around. “Good evening, gentlemen,” he greeted while setting his credits over the table and positioning his new acquired chips exactly the way he liked them. He didn’t mind the disrespect from the batarians tilting his head to the right at him like they were superior. He only wanted their money, not their respect.

With little room for light conversation the game started. He had his cards beside his chips and, to look at them, he just lifted the little corner briefly, a face of disappointment visible all around his lips and eyes. One of the batarians, the one he thought had the upper hand, laughed at the little gesture. The table quickly emptied when said batarian, with a blue tint all over his face, raised the pot. Everyone groaned in disappointment except for James, that broadly smiled and made a blind raise at him.

“Are you stupid, human?”, he told him off.

“Maybe I think I have the upper hand,” James smiled at him.

“You’re bluffing.” He raised the pot again.

James reraised him and the batarian, full of impatience, went all in looking at James’s eyes.

A smirk tinted his face as he went all in too. “Time for showdown,” James said.

“Straight flush,” the batarian smiled, satisfied, while showing his hand.

“Royal flush,” James said, taking all the chips to his side of the table and leaving those impossible cards visible for the whole party to see. The batarian grunted and stood up, “I’m off, fuck this shit.” Before leaving, he looked at James and tilted his head to the left, acknowledging his victory.

After a quick break to get more drinks, a new player joined them, another batarian, the guy didn’t even bother to look at him or greet him when he sat at the table. James thought this was going to be fun, he hadn’t been that lucky at a poker game in a really long time. He was grinning and enjoying himself a little too much.

It took a while for Anderson to find the food place, it was hidden in a small corner around other shops. He sat leaning on the counter and patiently waited until an old man stepped outside the kitchen.

“What can I get you?” Joe looked at him frowning, not all days a man like him sat at his little food establishment.

“I’m looking for a man, James Vega, do you know where he is?” Anderson asked him.

“No, if I had to know all my clients I’d have forgotten how to cook by now,” Joe lied.

“I am Alliance, he’s been on a leave of absence for a while and I wouldn’t want him to waste his life here. He’s a hell of a soldier that had some bad luck in the past.” Anderson had played that game before and he knew how to get to the man’s heart. He knew he had recognized James’ name by how his eyes flicked when he had mentioned him.

“I knew Jimmy was a good lad. And I agree with you, he’s way too good for Omega.” He smiled at Anderson. “Joe Mcnally.” The man cleaned his hand on a rag before offering it to Anderson, that took it gladly.

“David Anderson. Where can I find him?” He asked.

“He mentioned something about making money, so he probably went to play poker, he took the street through the vorcha settlement,” he pointed at a dark street right behind them, “so he’s probably at Tunerron’s den with the batarians. A Nasty place if you ask me.” Joe told him everything he knew, he really wanted to help James.

“Thank you, Joe. I’ll get him before he disappears again.” Anderson thanked him.

“You do that, and take him out of here.” Joe nodded at him in appreciation.

Anderson stood up and walked swiftly towards the crowded street, hoping James was still there so he could convince him to accompany him. Commander Shepard needed him.

Meanwhile, at Tunerron’s den, the poker game was still on and James was still on fire. The television on the background was offering some news to the audience, that were not unheard by the batarians at the table: _…while Citadel council scrambles to denounce the so-called terrorist acts allegedly carried out by Commander Shepard, batarian officials are demanding retribution…_

“I hope they get that bitch and kill her for what she did,” one of them grunted.

“She deserves that and more. How many of us died because of her?” the other one agreed.

“Thousands, the whole colony is lost. There are no survivors and the relay is completely destroyed.” A batarian informed them while landing some chips to the pot.

“Fucking Commander bastard”.

James was now dead serious, listening to the batarians talk-trash Shepard. The television continued: _…councilor Udina has publicly denied that the human alliance had anything to do with the destruction of the mass relay…_

“How the hell did she manage to destroy a mass relay?” The batarians kept their banter despite James’ face about it.

“She crashed an asteroid on it, fucking terrorist.”

“I want her head on a pole.” One of them demanded. “I hope she ends up on a batarian prison, tortured and raped. She deserves to pay for what she has done, she deserves to bleed.”

James stood up, he went straight to the television and tore it off the wall with both his big hands around it. He wasn’t going to allow this bullshit in his presence. Maybe he wasn’t Alliance anymore, but no one disrespects Commander Shepard in his presence.

“It’s your bet, human.” James ignored him.

“Sorry, Gorlak, here, take my winnings to cover the damages, as long as I don’t have to listen to that bullshit.” He headed for the door when the batarians inquired him.

“Hey, you don’t think the batarians deserve payback?” The batarian that joined last to the game asked him, finally acknowledging his presence.

“Yeah, you a Shepard lover, human? Can’t you see what she’s done?” Another one joined him.

James didn’t want to get into a fight, he was angry and he wasn’t going to hold out any of the anger inside him. He was losing his temper.

“I think you should just shut up and stop talking trash about Commander Shepard,” James yelled.

“Alliance scum, you’re all the same. You think you’re so much better than us.” You could feel the heat in the room increasing.

“Well, better looking, for sure,” James told them, heading to the door to leave that place.

“Why don’t you go to hell!” One of the batarians run into him trying to land a punch but James smashed his head with the television, still in his hands. The batarian fell to the ground groaning in pain and bleeding all over the place. Another one jumped at him with a knife, and he used the same television to defend himself, but the alien managed to cut him on the arm in the process. He grunted and beat him up brutally several times with the device. He was panting and sweating by the effort and the rush of adrenaline. James looked at the five batarians watching him angrily and then turned around to leave the place, again.

However, it wasn’t going to be that easy, and he knew it. He barely dodged the batarian that tried to jump into his back to make him fall and, instead, he threw him through the glass window, landing on the street between sharp pieces. He stepped outside the den through that very window, then, he grabbed the guy from his clothes around his neck and punched him in the face to leave him unconscious. James tried to get away walking faster, but two of the guys charged into him and knocked James down. He struggled to release himself, but one guy was grabbing his left arm and the other was on top of him landing blows on his face.

“You boys, just don’t know, when to give up…” James tried to say at the same time that he was receiving blow after blow.

He hit the one on top of him with his right fist, a strong punch right into his head that made the guy stumble and fall to a side. He freed himself from his weight and stood up, taking the other batarian into the air and then into his own back on the ground. The one he had punched first came back to his senses and tried to hit back, he nimbly dodged him and smashed his own head into the alien’s jaw, making him bleed and groan in pain at the cost of a wave of pain that traveled from his head to his neck. He was tired, panting, hoping the fight was over when he heard his name.

“Lieutenant James Vega, you’re a hard man to find,” Anderson shouted from the distance.

“Admiral Anderson?” James was confused.

“Dust yourself off and follow me. That’s an order.” The Admiral knew how to make a point.

The batarians heard Anderson’s words and slowly walked away, beaten up and bleeding. James was in no better condition, blood dripping from his temple and his arm. All his body ached by the fight, but he couldn’t allow those thugs to disrespect Shepard the way they did. He followed Anderson obediently and clearly scared of the consequences of his little-extended shore leave. _Is he here to arrest me?_ James thought.

They both walked in silence, Anderson knew James needed some time to clear his head after the fight. He decided to come back to Joe’s place, maybe he was going to need a little help from the old man to straighten James back to the right path.

James was suddenly ashamed of his behavior, he respected Admiral Anderson and didn’t want him to see him like this, beaten up and drowned in his own grief. A quick walk through Omega’s street was all James needed to cool off. He sat beside Anderson at the counter he had been coming back to since the day he put a foot in this damn station.

“Hey, Joe”, he greeted with something that resembled a smile.

“Jesus, kid, you look bad.” He said while handing him a rag to clean the blood dripping off his face. “I’ll fix you both something to eat. I bet you have a lot to talk about.”

“Honestly, sir, what do you want from me?” James bravely asked Anderson.

Anderson sighed. “It’s time you got over the incident on Fehl. Time for you to be the soldier we expect of you.”

“No disrespect, sir, but I’d rather not get over it.” He liked dweling on pain.

“Do you think you’re the only one here that had lost something? That had to make a tough call?” Anderson was angry at him, he needed to make him listen.

“No, sir, but…”

“I won’t let you get lost in this shithole. I want you back on Earth with me.” Anderson ordered.

“Earth? Forget it, There’s nothing for me there.” James was just being stubborn, and he knew it.

“There is. Something you haven’t had before. Are you aware of Commander Shepard’s current situation?” Anderson laid the bait.

“The fight with the batarians was about that, sir, they’d been disrespecting Shepard.” He sighed. “Did you come here to throw me in the brig?”

Anderson chuckled, “you’ll be guarding the brig, Lieutenant.”

“What do you mean?” James looked puzzled.

“Commander Shepard had surrendered herself to the Alliance and I need a guard for her.”

“Commander Shepard? Commander Alice Shepard, sir?” James had to ask twice, taking the bait.

“Your mission is to protect her, to guard her, to be with her until this storm with the batarians and the relay calms down and the Alliance decides what to do with her.” Anderson confessed.

James couldn’t believe he was having this conversation with Anderson. To protect Shepard. The soldier he looked up to all his career, the woman he had a poster of hanging in his room. This wasn’t happening.

“What do you say? Are you up for it? She’s a nightmare I tell you that already, but she’s going to need you.” Anderson chuckled. James was in.

James swallowed. “Yes, sir. I’ll do it.”

“I knew I could count on you. Are you ready to leave this place? Because I’ve been here less than eight hours and I already want to leave.”

“I have to grab my things at the apartment.” James was still processing what was happening.

“I’m happy for you, kid.” Joe said, of course, he’d been listening to the conversation, it was part of his job too.

“Thank you, Joe, I’m gonna miss your stew.” James friendly smiled at him.

“Oh, kid, you’ll forget about it soon enough, as soon as you meet your Commander Shepard.” Joe laughed. He was going to miss him.

James and Anderson ate quietly, all they’d been talking about had to sink into his brain. What a day, he thought. “How did you find me, sir?” He asked Anderson.

“Well, I’ll tell you that story on our way home.”

Home, James thought, it’s been a while since he’d been looking to come back to something called home. Then a shiver run through his spine when he realized he was going to meet his hero in the flesh. Commander Shepard. “How is she?” he turned to Anderson.

“Shepard?” James nodded in response. “She’s a charm”, Anderson chuckled, “you’ll love her. She’s also a pain in the ass when she wants to. Or maybe that’s just for me”.


	2. Meeting a Legend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James Vega is finally meeting his war hero, Commander Shepard.

Vancouver, one of the most important cities on Earth and James’ destination, where he would finally meet Commander Shepard. He would spend with her at least several months according to what Anderson had told him. He was still unsure if he was fit for the task though, it had been a while since he’d been on duty and maybe this was a mistake. But he couldn’t turn down the opportunity to meet her and to work with her, it was just too good to be true. That beautiful black-haired woman from his poster, the war hero he admired, even if he knew most of it was pure propaganda. He used to dream he was assigned to the Normandy and it sent chills through his body every time, but then Shepard had died and was brought back to life by Cerberus. The public didn’t know much about that, they just assumed she was MIA and badly hurt. He knew the truth about that now, having access to her personal records. But she was alive, and he was going to guard her.

James had been nervous all the ride to Anderson’s office. He had given him his orders and had told him to rest and freshen up the day before. James still had a wound on his right temple from the fight on Omega, but he had had a good night sleep and God knows he needed it. Omega looked like a lifetime ago and Anderson had just recruited him. He was heading to the Alliance headquarters for his meeting with Anderson and Shepard, and he suddenly felt a knot in his throat.  _I’ve come a long way to finally meet her. Commander Shepard._ He had always looked up to her. Shepard was all he admired in a marine as he had seen her fighting on the vids over and over again. James wondered how would she look like in the flesh, and before he could get even more unsettled about it, the cab stopped and he arrived at his destination.

He could feel his heart racing as he approached Anderson’s office. He swallowed and took a gander at his secretary, who was very focused writing something on her computer. James cleared his throat to get her attention. “Good Morning. I’m Lieutenant James Vega,” he introduced himself. She lifted her head up to look at the bulk in front of her.

“Mr. Vega, Admiral Anderson is expecting you. I’ll let him know you’re here.” The secretary pressed a button on the communicator and announced him. He overheard Anderson telling her to let him in. James nodded at her and opened the door’s office. It was a nice place with tons of light from the wide windows and a lot of space, he almost whistled in appreciation until he saw Commander Shepard. She was in front of one of the windows, the morning light bathing her and shaping a glow around her. She was so different and at the same time so familiar to him. Shepard was wearing civilian clothes, a long sleeve dress down to her feet.  _She’s beautiful,_  James thought,  _and tall **.**_  His jaw slightly dropped at the vision of her. The dress hugged her body nicely and her black hair rested over her shoulders a bit messy. She turned around, feeling his presence in the room, and smiled. It was a polite smile but it was for him, and he smiled back shyly. Her eyes matched her hair and deepened her look, it was like getting lost in a void. He just noticed Anderson was standing beside her and telling him to get closer.

“Lieutenant Vega, you look much better today, I’m glad.” Anderson said to him. He looked happy having Shepard around. “Come here, I’ll introduce you.”

“Admiral. Commander.” He greeted both of them. Behaving like a soldier was the only thing that he could do right now. James was overwhelmed all of the sudden, this was really happening.

“Shepard, this is James Vega. He’s the one in charge of your security and your house arrest.”She sighed at that. “The two of you will be spending a lot of time together.” She extended a hand to him, that he grabbed and shook quickly.  _A strong grip_ , he thought as her eyes rested on his, a smirk on her face.

Shepard noticed James’s strong hand against hers and smirked. He was handsome, he had strong manly features and a sweet look in his eyes that crashed with his scars and his hair. Besides, he was bulky,  _in a good way_ , she thought. She glanced at his biceps and shoulders while shaking his hand.

“I bet we will get along just fine, Anderson,” Shepard said. “So, tell me, where am I staying? Will they transfer me to a detention center or can I stay undercover? I didn't get in a fancy dress for anything you know, it’s killing me,” she said while pulling the high neck of the dress with her finger.

_She’s funny_ , James thought a bit surprised, and let Anderson answer the questions.

“You will stay undercover. James will take you to the apartment and properly inform you. I’d rather not discuss the details here.” He said. “And now that you mention it, I hadn’t seen you in a dress since that Christmas party at Hackett house, remember?”

“I remember how his daughters tortured me for two hours doing my makeup and my hair and, also, how they yelled at me when I tried to drink a beer because, according to them: I was clearly ruining my lipstick and therefore, their masterpiece.” She laughed.

“You looked beautiful, child, you always have.” He looked at her proudly. “I meant to ask Hackett for the pictures we took that night.” Anderson squeezed her shoulder.

“Or throw another party.” She smiled at James, who suddenly felt like he was intruding into a family reunion. He didn’t know Shepard and Anderson were that close.

“You should get going, I’ll keep in touch through Lieutenant Vega and I’ll try to find out something about your trial.” Anderson’s voice was filled with concern. “Take care, Shepard. And keep her safe, Lieutenant. That’s an order,” he said to James.

“Yes, sir.” He saluted Anderson. “Let’s go, Commander.” He felt a bit strange being in the care of a war hero, Shepard no less, but she followed him indulgently outside the office.

“Call me Shepard, please,” she asked. “I don’t think I qualify as a Commander anymore. Or call me Ali, if you feel like it since we need to hide my identity,” she amiably told him.

They got into the elevator. He was standing at her right with his arms at either side of his body. Shepard glanced at the big man beside her.  _He really does have muscles_ , she thought. Then she looked at his hair with skepticism.  _Not quite the full military cut but looks nice on him_. James looked at her over his shoulder and caught her inspecting him. He suddenly liked the idea of her admiring his shape. Shepard gave him a friendly smile as she took notice of a wound he had on his temple and frowned. “What smashed your head?” She asked.

“It’s more like I smashed my head with a batarian,” he laughed, scratching his neck.

She opened her eyes in surprise. “Now you have to tell me that story, James.” It was the first time she had used his first name, and that sent a shiver through his spine.  _Now, I have to find a way to tell you that I got into a fight with a squad of batarians for you,_  he thought.

A fifteen minutes ride and Shepard was, again, on an elevator to the floor of her new cell. It was an apartment, but she couldn’t get out besides scheduled appointments, all arranged by Lieutenant James Vega. He’d been quiet all the way too and she got the feeling that he didn’t like her very much.  _He probably hates me because of Fehl Prime_ , she thought. Anderson had told her a little about James and his background story. He was 28 years old, and he had soon stood out after he had enlisted. James had been posted to defend the Fehl Prime colony after an incredible encounter with a Blood Pack raid, because of which he got commended. But something went wrong, the Collectors attacked and, all of the sudden, he had lost almost all his squad and the colony as he was trying to recover some intel during the attack.  _That’s tough_ , she thought.  _And the intel was useless in the end because I destroyed the Collectors_. She sighed, lost in her thoughts.

Shepard followed James, that opened the door for her and led her into the apartment. It was small and cosy. When you entered you could see a small corridor that led to a kitchen on the left, with a countertop and three stools; right in front of her, there was a big couch placed against the window and a small coffee table. On the right side, there were two doors that she assumed were the bedrooms and, when she entered the living room, right behind her, she found the bathroom door. She pried inside and saw a big shower, a toilet and a sink with a mirror over it.  _Nice and efficient_ , she thought.

James was really nervous having her around. He didn’t know how to behave, so he just stuck to the military role.  _Joder, what am I doing? I’m going to fuck this up_ , he anxiously thought. “You can take any bedroom you like best,” James told her politely, “I’ll take the other one.”

“Are you staying here with me?” Shepard asked, happy at the idea of not being completely alone.

“Well, yes,” He frowned, ”unless you don’t want me to and then I’ll just stand guard outside the door on-duty hours.” James said with a steady face.

“Oh, no! I didn’t mean it like that. I’d love to have some company, Lieutenant,” she hastened to say.  _He really doesn’t like me_ , Shepard thought.

“Are you sure? I’m in charge of your safety but I wouldn’t want you to be uncomfortable.” James insisted.  _C’mon, I’m usually a funny guy_ , he thought.

“Iam sure. I’ll take the room on the right. If that’s ok.” She smiled at him but got anything in response.

“Fine by me.” He was acting like a soldier and he was impersonal and curt.  _No seas pendejo_ , he said to himself. “Make yourself comfortable, Lieutenant Acker will arrive soon, and we can discuss the terms of your house arrest,” he said,  _still a pendejo_.

Shepard went to inspect her room and drop her bags there for now.  _I’ll unpack later_ , she lied to herself. The room was big enough and the bed was comfortable as she sat on it and stared at the ceiling, feeling a bit dizzy. She suddenly stood up and took out a tank top and some sweatpants from her bag and started undressing. That dress was cute but damn uncomfortable. She just got into a new place, with new people, and she desperately needed something familiar and cosy around.

James sat on the couch nervously.  _What is wrong with me? I’m being a jerk_ , he cursed at himself.  _I need to calm down and act normal, I’m going to be spending with her a lot of time, por Dios, I’m going to be living with her_. Acker arrived at the apartment and sat beside him.

“Lieutenant Vega, I’m sorry I’m a bit late,” he excused himself. James had met him the other day when the two of them talked to Anderson to discuss the situation with Shepard. He didn’t know much about his record but if Anderson trusted him, so would he.

**“** Hey, Acker,” he smiled at him, relieved from not being alone with Shepard anymore.  _Maybe Acker’s presence will help me smooth the mood_ , James thought. Then he turned around to look at Shepard, that had just left her bedroom to join them in the living room. She had changed clothes and James thought she was even prettier than before, more like he imagined her to be. “Shepard, this is Lieutenant Acker,” they shook hands, “he will be helping with your safety.”

“Nice to meet you, Acker.” She sat beside James on the couch. “So, how’s this going to work?” She asked James.

 James started talking while looking at his omnitool. He didn’t want to forget anything relevant. “You won’t be allowed to go outside without me or Acker at any time. Nobody knows where you are except the three of us plus Anderson. That’s our main security measure right now.” He looked at her. “Any questions?”

“Am I going to stay here permanently? I mean... Can't I go out for a walk or something like that?”Shepard was trying not to panic at the fact that she was going to be held at the apartment. She was under house arrest, in the end.

He sensed some discomfort in her. “Until we know the situation is under control it would be best if you remained here, then we can see to it.” James briefly told her.

“I understand.” She looked disappointed and it broke James’ heart. Her eyes now on the window behind them. “At least we have a nice view here,” she said trying to smile.

“I’m going to need you to surrender your omnitool too, in case someone tries to trace you through it. And according to the Alliance, you cannot have any contact whatsoever with your ex-crew members as part of the conditions for your house arrest,” he added.  _She must be hating me right now._

“Can I see my last messages?” She asked, mortified at the fact that she was going to be isolated. James hesitated but he couldn’t disappoint her again. “Yes,” he briefly said. She opened her omnitool and she saw several messages there, she went through them quickly, looking for the meaningful ones.

She found one from Joker:

_Hey Commander! Those assholes can’t lock you up forever and I will be waiting for you on the Normandy. Don’t worry, I will take care of our girl. EDI says hi, but she’s incognito, we don’t want the Alliance to find out she’s an unshackled AI!_ _Take care, Commander._

Another from Garrus:

Shepard, if you were turian they’d be throwing medals at you right now, not locking you up. Be strong, I’m off to Palaven, I don’t want to be on the Normandy without you but, if you need me, you know where to find me and I won’t hesitate to join your crew again. Be careful, Shepard. I promise to behave this time.

Shepard’s eyes were getting wet by the second. She gasped and found another message, this time from Grunt:

_Hey Shupuuuuuuuuuuuuurd: If you need help escaping, I’m your krogan, anything for my battlemaster. I’m going to become a great warrior. You’ll be proud of me the next time you see me, he, he, he._

She laughed while tears were coming off her eyes, unable to hold them any longer. James was watching her, mesmerized at the expressions on her face. He couldn’t see what she was reading but he knew it meant the world to her. And it broke his heart again to see tears in her eyes running down her face. Offhand, he captured a tear near her cheek with his knuckle. She glanced at him with some big black eyes filled with sadness but smiled at him, and it was the most beautiful smile he had ever seen.

“Thank you, James. Here.” She handed him her omnitool and sighed, blurring the tears on her face with her forearm. “Anything else? I’d like to spend some time by myself in my room.”

“Sure, we can continue some other time.” As soon as Shepard heard his answer she nodded and disappeared into her room. James and Acker stood there on the couch uncomfortably, and James sighed at the task in hand. It was going to be harder than he had anticipated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this wasn't the most exciting chapter, but I had so much fun writing the messages! And poor James, so nervous being around Shepard. But I bet he will get over it soon <3


	3. Easy like Sunday morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James and Shepard had a weird start but they're trying to get used to each other. It will be fun to find out how easy that would be for them.

James was worried sick about Shepard. She had barely left her room since she got there a week ago. She hadn’t been eating much either, some ration bars here and there.  _If she keeps this up I’ll have to tell Anderson about it_ , he thought. This morning he was making breakfast because he wanted to apologize to Shepard for being so gruff the day they had met. He had been so nervous he wasn’t being himself and it was killing him. He had tried to talk to her since then, but she was lost in her own pity. The plan was to lure her out of her room by the smell of his  _huevos rancheros_ , some bacon, and coffee.

Shepard was buried in the sheets of her bed, she didn’t know what time it was, but she didn’t give a shit anymore. She missed her friends, the Alliance had taken almost everything away from her and she didn’t know how to snap out of it, the grief. Suddenly, a smell of delicious food and bacon fondled her nostrils and she sat up on the bed. She quickly picked her hair up in a ponytail, put some sweatpants on and slowly slid her bedroom door to take a pick at the kitchen. The view of Lieutenant James Vega immersed on his cooking brought a smile on her face. He was kind of cute stirring the pan, with a kitchen rag over his broad shoulder, whistling, distracted with the task. Then, he saw her on the far side of the room and granted her an inviting smile.  _Maybe I’ve misjudged him_ , Shepard thought.

“Come here, Shepard.” James was contented at his success. “I made breakfast, do you want some eggs?”

Shepard took a seat at one of the stools. “Good Morning, Lieutenant,” she took a glance at was he was cooking. “That looks good.”

He started pouring a cup of coffee and looked at her, asking for some advice. She quickly took the hint. “Two sugars, a little bit of milk.” He complied and set the mug in front of her. “Thank you,”she said while he kept cooking and setting the dishes in front of her watchful sight. “I wanted to say I’m sorry,” James finally said.

“Sorry for what?” Shepard took a sip of her coffee.

“I haven’t been myself these days and I’ve been a little…”he tried to explain.

“Don’t mention it.” Shepard quickly dismissed his apology. “This is a weird situation for both of us. It’s normal to feel like that, I haven’t been myself either,” she sighed, “I have barely left the bed and I know I can’t keep this up. I’m sorry too, James,”she told him **.**

“Can we start over?” He said.  _At least she has called me James again_ , he thought and set the plate in front of her.

“Oh god, this smells delicious.” She stared at the dish in front of her. “And yes, I’d like that,” she said, a friendly smile all over her face.

He grabbed his own plate and sat beside her. James took a glance at what she was wearing and noticed how low the sweatpants were on her hips, showing a bit of skin at her backside. James also noticed she wasn’t wearing a bra under that white tank top and, suddenly, he felt himself blushing and his hands sweaty.  _Stop staring, pendejo_ , he lectured himself.

“This is the best breakfast I’ve had in a very long time,” she said while wolfing down the food in front of her. “I didn’t know making me breakfast was included in the contract, James.”

“I made an exception just for you.” He smiled at her and kept eating.

She finished up quickly and turned around on the stool to look at him and finish her coffee. “So, James, now that we’re having a heart to heart. I got the impression you didn’t like me very much the other day,” Shepard told him.

He choked at the statement and looked at her. His eyes went right to her breasts, where her nipples were showing through her white tank top. James forced himself to look at her face. “I do like you.”

She arched an eyebrow,  _Is he staring at my tits?_  She thought, and she shuddered at the idea of being watched like that again. It had been a long time.

“I mean, I always looked up to you, since I became an Alliance marine,” he managed to say, “that’s why I was so funny the other day, I was nervous about meeting you,” James confessed.

“Well, I am only human, Mr. Vega,” she joked.

He chuckled.  _I can see that,_ he thought.  _She reminds me of my best friend’s older sister, Lola, damn she was pretty and though, just like she is._

“A credit for your thoughts?” She said, studying his face.

“Nothing, I just,” he dithered, “you reminded me of my best friend’s sister, her name was Lola and she was hot and though, just like you,” he confessed and hoped she didn’t take it the wrong way.

“Right. Hot and tough. I like it,”she told himwith a smirk.

“I think I’ll call you Lola. You look like a Lola to me,” he boldly decided. James was used to choosing nicknames for everyone in his life. It was easier to remember and, you know, some people just don’t match their names.

She swallowed at how he called her  _Lola_  and found it dreadfully sexy. “Was she your girlfriend or something like that?” Shepard asked.

“Nothing like that, I was like twelve years old and she was eighteen. I could only dream,” he chuckled,  _just like you, Lola_ , he thought.

“Huh? I could get used to it.” She grinned.

“It’s settled then,”he said with a husky voice, slightly leaning to her and with a half-smile sexy as hell. Her heart skipped a bit and she shyly smiled at him. She noticed the scar on his lower lip and bit her own. James knew he was being a flirt, but he didn’t care, he was a natural and it made her smile.

“Thank you for the breakfast, you really make mean eggs. You have to tell me what I have to do to get them again sometime,” she said, showing a mischievous smile on her face that didn’t go unnoticed to James.

“Anytime you want, Lola, you just gotta ask.” He leaned on the countertop, still grinning.

  

Since their first breakfast together, Shepard realized being around James and talking to him was easy like Sunday morning. They now usually had breakfast together to start their day and, the mornings she overslept and missed him, she felt a bit empty about it. James still had to report to Anderson and take care of the things she couldn’t outside the apartment, and the weeks passed as they got into their little routine.

Shepard started spending less time in her room and more time in the living room, especially when James was around. To not to die of boredom she started writing some reports about what she knew about the reapers and what they had encountered so far, to come up with something like a tactical advice for the troops. But even with that task in hand, she had too much free time that she tried to spend reading or exercising around the living room. That in particular, drove James crazy, especially when he was trying to work and she was doing push-ups. Very distracting. He even got a pull-up bar and installed it on the corridor near the hall. That was even more distracting since he had a clear view of her from the couch.

And there she was, doing pull-ups in a sports bra and shorts. She was facing the door while he was glancing between her and the datapad in front of him. James finally surrendered and looked at her nicely toned arms and shoulders, covered by a veil of sweat that made her shiny against the light; and her waist, wet from sweat too. He bit his lip and tilted his head, feeling his arousal increasing.  _Look at the datapad, James **,**_ he thought. But he didn’t comply.

She slipped down to the floor and turned around to catch him sneaking a glimpse at her. Shepard liked to catch him looking at her, the attention was nice. She stretched her arms while walking towards the kitchen to grab some water, granting him a smile of appreciation in her way there.

“Nice workout, Lola.” James knew he had been caught.

“Thank you for the pull-up bar, it’s a relief to be able to exercise,”Shepard said, a little breathless. 

"I almost forgot, I talked to Anderson yesterday and, as this department building is for young Alliance recruits, it comes with some benefits, such as a gym on one of the floors.” James looked at her with a conspiratorial look.

“Yes!”Shepard yelled. “I could kiss you right now, Vega,” she happily said.

He slightly blushed. “I can see you like the idea, of going to the gym, I mean,” he corrected, “and I could use some work out time too. I need to take care of this body, you know.” He flexed his biceps at her.

“Very sexy,” she laughed, concealing that she actually agreed that he was very sexy, indeed.

“We can go every other day when I’m off duty,” James said. “That reminds me that Acker is coming in a couple of hours because I need to take care of some stuff.” She gave him a curious look. “Nothing serious, just laundry, I need to call my tío, buy some stuff that I need, food and that sort of things. Do you want me to bring you something? he asked her.

“Now that you mention it… could you bring me some beer? It’s been ages since I’ve had one.”Shepard didn’t think he’d agreed at that.

 “Sure thing, Lola,” he said.

“Then I’m going to take a shower, I’ll let you work.” She started walking towards the bathroom and then glanced at him over her shoulder just like Liara would do. “Because I saw you were a little distracted before, Mr. Vega.”

“Can you blame me, Lola? I’m flesh and blood if you know what I mean,”James flirted **.**

“Oh, I know James, all too well,” and she disappeared into the bathroom.

_Por Dios,_  he thought, as he followed her with his eyes until she was gone.  _She’s way out of my league but she is so damn hot._

****

Later that night, Shepard was reading on the couch with a blanket over her legs and Acker keeping her company. They were enjoying the silence, one distracted with his omnitool and the other enjoying a nice book. She never had time to read on the Normandy and she missed it very much. Kasumi got her into reading by feeding her book after book and she loved them all,  _where would she be right now?_  Shepard thought.

“Acker, how long have I been here? I can’t keep track of time or the days since I don’t do much,” she asked him.

He thought about it for a moment, “I believe almost two months already, Shepard.”

She sighed,“the date for my trial is taking a while, and Anderson hasn't visited.” Shepard thought that now that they were both living in the same city they could see each other more often.

“He doesn’t want to compromise your location,” Ackers explained to her.

At that moment they heard the door and a happy James greeted them. He was carrying a beer pack. “I got your stuff, Lola.” He winked at her. “Hey, Ackers.”

“Nice, why don’t you two have a beer with me?” Shepard suggested. James and Acker glanced at her. “Just one! C’mon! Or any of you have something better to do tonight?”

“Well, I have a date later tonight,” Acker said.

“Then you call tell us all about your date while we enjoy a beer,” Shepard wittily said. The three of them sat on the stools on the kitchen countertop and toasted: “Who’s like us?” Shepard said starting her toast. “Damn few!” Acker followed. “And they’re all dead!” James finished. He was surprised that she knew that one, and they all chuckled. Not every day you grab a beer with Commander Shepard herself.

After a while of light headed conversation about Acker and her mysterious new girlfriend, they started talking about weapons. Shepard loved to collect weapons and to talk about them.

“A shotgun is a lot more reliable than any assault or sniper rifle, you get to be in the middle of the fight and everything near you just blow to pieces,” James stated, very convinced at himself.

“That’s the thing, James, everything far away from me just blows to pieces too and I don’t get dirty.” Shepard laughed. “I may not be in the action but I cover my squad very efficiently.”

“Oh, I know, I’ve seen the vids and you’re a wicked shot,” he told her. “You just know where they’re going to be and boom! They lose their heads.” James mimicked a shot with his hands.

“To be fair, I wouldn’t be able to do that without a ground team, but I really enjoy my sweet old black widow. She is just perfection between my hands. And,” she added, “I got a modified telescopic sight with a special reticle that enhances the image, gives me information about the distance and has a simple clean crosshair,” she smiled, “courtesy of a good friend of mine.” She thought about Garrus and what he would be doing right now.

“That’s not fair, Lola, you got access to N7 weapons and armor,” James complained.

“Yeah, that’s true,” Acker said too, “that’s by far the best equipment the Alliance has released.”

“I really want to get my hands on some new shotgun though, I’m a little tired of my M27-Scimitar,” James said, “I want something with a bit more accuracy and firepower, you know, but I haven’t decided yet what to get, not that I’d be using it anytime soon.”

Acker looked at him. “My M-8 Avenger is all I need.” Shepard and James looked at him and started laughing.

“I wish you guys had seen the M-7 Lancer,” she bit her lip, “I got one and It still uses the overheating system, no thermal clips for that beauty,” she said proudly.

“That only means you’re old, Lola,” James chuckled and regretted a little messing with her.

“Hey, I’m not that old! I’m only four years older than you, Vega.” She pouted. “But well, since I’m that old I’d better go to bed, I’m beaten today.” She stood up and walked away to her bedroom.

James thought she was angry at him for what he said and felt bad about it. “Are you angry at me, Lola?” He looked at her with puppy eyes.

She turned around and a mischievous smile crossed her face. “You know what I’m craving, James? Some of your amazing eggs for breakfast tomorrow.” She put on an angelic face instantly.

“You got it, Lola.” He sighed a bit relieved. “Buenas noches.”

“Good night to you both, and good luck with your date, Acker.” She left the room and jumped into her bed. She really was exhausted and in need for some rest. Shepard fell asleep thinking about James cooking breakfast for her tomorrow.

James was grinning like a fool while finishing his beer and Acker noticed and laughed.

“What?” James quickly said, feeling like he missed a joke.

“Nothing.” Acker smiled at him. “I have to go, see you tomorrow.” He shook James’ hand and left him there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel this is some bits and pieces of their day by day but I couldn't find a better way to build the base of their friendship, though Vega is a flirt from the beginning.


	4. Masterplan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some funny fluff chapter. I hope you like Acker! He's the best accomplice ever, though never tell him a secret, lol.

Shepard had a plan. And it had to be perfectly executed. She entered the living room and saw Acker sitting on the couch, distracted with his omnitool, as always. Shepard walked towards him slowly and sat beside him. James wasn’t around, he was a military guard and even if his main task was her security that didn’t include spending all day with her in house arrest. When he wasn’t there Acker came to supervise her. So this was the perfect moment.

He startled when he felt her. “Acker,” Shepard greeted him. “Shepard,” he answered, acknowledging her presence.

She looked at him intensely. “I need you to do me a favor, Lieutenant.”

He lifted his eyes and swallowed. Fear crawling over him. “You know I can’t let you out, James is the only one that can escort you outside,” he instructed.

“I know, I wouldn’t ask you to do that… again.” She smiled at him. “I might need your omnitool for a second”.

“Forget it. He would kill me,” he instantly refused, “I mean, I know you wouldn’t harm anyone or do anything wrong but you know I can’t. I’m sorry, Shepard.” Acker ended the conversation and he even closed his omnitool.

“Fair enough. But can you send a message in my name? To Anderson.” She wasn’t giving up that easily.

“Can’t you ask James? He’ll do it. Or maybe we can wait for him and ask.” Acker continued the negotiation.

“The thing is, I don’t want James to know because It’s kind of a surprise for him. C’mon hear me out, help a sister!” Shepard begged.

Acker sighed, he knew she wasn’t going to give up. “I’m listening.”

“I need you to contact Anderson about one of my weapons. I need my N7 Crusader shotgun. He has some of my stuff at his place,” Shepard explained.

“Forget about it, you’re not allowed weapons,” he objected, looking at her very seriously.

“I don’t want the gun, Acker. I want…” she hesitated. “I want James to have it. He needs a new shotgun and that’s the best on the Alliance right now. He’s going to love it and you know it.” She winked at him in complicity.

“Well,” he thought about it for a second, “I’ll give it to him but you won’t touch the gun.”

“Of course.” She put her arms up and a nice harmless face. “But I want to see his face when you do it. Deal?” she extended a hand to him to seal the deal.

“Deal”, Acker shook her hand contented. “You know, that’s a lot better than a poster.” He realized what he had said right after the words came out of his mouth.

“A poster? What do you mean?” She smiled at him with curiosity. He was going to stand up but she grabbed his arm and stared at him. “Acker…”

“Fine! If you snitch on me I’m dead,” he spoke nervously, “James has a poster of you,” he finally confessed.

“A poster of me? Like propaganda stuff from the Alliance, you mean?” She grinned at the idea.

“He has a poster of you since forever, with your N7 armor and all. From before you die..sappeared,” he confessed, “and he always wanted you to sign it for him but he never got the courage to ask. If you give him your gun he’s going to be over the moon about it. An N7 gun no less!”

“God, Acker, I hope the enemy never captures you. You will give up all our secrets in a heartbeat.” She laughed and smiled to herself thinking about a younger James holding onto a poster of her. “His secret is safe with us. So, do you really think he’ll like it?”

“I bet my ass he will,” Acker said while displaying his omnitool. “What do you want me to send to Anderson?” A mischievious smile covered both of their faces planning their little conspiracy.

 

His accomplice had carried the plan to perfection. Anderson had given Ackers the shotgun the next day, a bit confused about the strange petition from Shepard. She knew Anderson would understand and, in fact, agreed, that she went a bit overboard when she became an N7 and bought almost every gun she could afford. And a shotgun isn’t something she would be using as an infiltrator but she still bought it on a shopping spree.

Now she was feeling kind of nervous at the idea of gifting him something that personal. But she liked him, he was a good guy, funny, handsome, sweet, a shameless flirt…  _ Stop it, Shepard, _ she said to herself. Acker had the big black briefcase with the N7 logo on it beside him on the couch.

“You know I have no intention of stealing it from you, right?” Shepard joked.

“I know, but I have to follow James’ orders, he’s scary, and a bit bossy when it’s about you and your safety,” Acker told her.

“You also know that if I wanted to, I’d take it, right?” Shepard kept messing with him. Until he sighed in frustration.

Suddenly they heard the door opening and James entered the living room with his gym bag on one hand, so sweaty and sexy from his workout. Shepard bit her lip at the visualization of him. “Looking good, James,” she couldn’t help herself.

James smiled, “I try, Lola, I try.”

“We got someth…” Shepard lightly punched Acker’s arm, that complained immediately, and finished the sentence for him. “You can take a shower, we’ll be here, doing nothing.”  _ Great Shepard, so convincing _ , she thought. James frowned at them but he kept doing his own thing, unaware of what they’ve been cooking up.

“You really suck at surprises, do you, Acker?” Shepard looked at him and raised an eyebrow. “Let’s wait until he comes out of the shower **.”**

James knew something was up. He had found Shepard and Acker the other day laughing, and they had stopped as soon as they saw him. Then he had caught them buzzing and now this. After a quick shower, he entered the living room and saw Shepard sitting on one of the stools in front of the kitchen countertop, Acker was standing up behind it and there was a big black briefcase between them.

“Are you two finally going to tell me what’s going on?” James said, a bit confused.

“Come here, Lieutenant.” Shepard smiled at him and she could see the relief on his face. “I got something for you and I needed a little help from Acker, that gallantly agreed to help me.” James shortened the distance between them and his eyes took notice of the N7 logo on the case. Shepard felt her mouth suddenly dry and her heart pounding, nervous about his reaction.  “I want you to have this. It’s a gift and you have to take it. I have a no return policy with gifts.” She pushed the box towards him.

James was beyond confused right now. He looked at Shepard, then at Ackers, that was smiling, and then at the black briefcase. He finally opened the locked case and stared at the beautiful weapon in front of him. It was an N7 crusader shotgun. The best of best. It was a semi-automatic medium range shotgun, very precise, with an amazing stopping power. James ran his fingers through the gun feeling the cold touch of the metal.

“Here, take it!” Shepard urged him. “I can’t because Acker wouldn’t let me,” she mocked him.

James slowly hefted the gun between his hands and a big smile showed up on his face. Shepard thought he was like a kid on Christmas. “It’s heavier than I thought. ¡Es una belleza! Pero no más que tú, Lola,” James said, looking at her and blushing at his boldness.

“What did you say? That means you like it?” Shepard chuckled enjoying how happy he was.

“It means I love it. Por Dios, Lola! It’s perfect. I can’t wait to use it for the first time.” Acker was quietly watching the situation and stepped in.

“Lieutenant, Commander, I’d love to stay but I gotta go. I assume you’re not mad at me for helping her,” Acker said to them.

“Not at all, see you tomorrow, Acker **,”** James said. The young Lieutenant left the room smiling at his friend. Acker’s last girlfriend was Spanish and he understood perfectly what he had said to Shepard: “It’s a beauty, but not more than you are”.

James glanced at Shepard, that was grinning. “Why? I’m not even an N7 recruit,” he asked her.

“Because you’ll put it to a good use. I’m a long-range kind of girl, you know. But when I became an N7 I got carried away and bought a lot of guns without thinking much about the use I’d give them in the future,” she shrugged. “I just wanted them all, I’m sure you understand,” she explained to him.

James was still excited, touching and weighting the shotgun between his hands. “I like the close range,” he managed to say. “This gun is so perfect.” He was still caressing the gun and Shepard felt a bit jealous.

“And I’ll be covering your ass somewhere high, Mr. Vega.” He rejoiced at the idea of fighting by her side.

“There’s a downside, though,” Shepard warned him. “My N7 code is engraved on it and you cannot remove it. There’s still some space if you want to add something, but, technically, this is gun smuggling.”

“Downside?” He didn’t think about it twice. He just grabbed her by the waist and lifted her in the air, spinning her around, with both her hands now placed over his shoulders. Then he realized what he was doing and put her on the floor in front of him, clearly blushing. “Thank you, Lola, this is the best gift ever,” James said, scratching his neck.

Her face hurt from grinning. He was so happy, and that made her happy too. She hugged him. A quick small squeeze that allowed her to feel his muscles against her and to smell the scent of his aftershave. She broke the hug before she could get lost in it. They both looked at each other happy and a bit embarrassed.

“Now you’ll have to take me target practicing, Mr. Vega.” Shepard joked.

“Anything for you, Lola,” he said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you liked it! Next chapters will have a bit more sauce, I promise <3


	5. Lost Lust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FInally! Some news about Shepard's trial that will finally be happening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a NSFW chapter, especially at the end, so watch out! Also some fluff and smut <3

James was returning from Anderson’s office and he was furious. Anderson hadn’t been happy either informing him about the meeting tomorrow. The committee had, once again, delayed the trial that was supposed to happen later that week, instead, they put it off at the end of the month. But that wasn’t all, they requested Shepard’s presence at the Alliance headquarters tomorrow. They wanted to announce publicly the date of the trial in a press conference and, for obvious reasons, they had made a statement, again, publicly.

As James left the elevator to get to the apartment he was feeling angrier. It was going to be a nightmare to keep Shepard safe in a building full of reporters not to mention coming back to the apartment without being followed.  _ Anderson was right, this is all a fucking parade _ , he thought.

Shepard heard the front door and watched James come to her.  _ He looks angry _ , she thought. She looked at him as he dropped himself on the couch and sighed.

“Something wrong?” Shepard asked, getting closer to him.

“Very wrong.” He closed his eyes for an instant and opened them again to look at her. “They delayed the trial again.”

“I knew it,” Shepard said with sureness.

You still have to go there tomorrow.” James sighed. “They want to meet with you to discuss the date of the trial and some other issues.”

“Well, at least I get to go outside for a couple of hours,” she settled for it, “and I get to see Anderson.”

“There’s more,” James couldn’t hide his concern, “they’re going to hold a press conference after to announce the trial and they already made it public.”

“I won’t talk to the press,” Shepard warned him. “I always want to punch them. I never do, but I always get this feeling that I need to punch them right in the face.” She was frustrated at being made a puppet for the Alliance and politics.

“I won’t let them.” He stared right into her eyes. “I promise.” She smiled at the gesture and squeezed his thigh around his knee in appreciation. James liked her touch and it softened his look. “That’s not what I’m worried about though. It’s going to be a nightmare to get you in and out with reporters trying to follow us, not to mention the potential threat of an attack on you.” James was starting to feel a headache pounding at his temples.

“What have you thought about?” Shepard asked.

“We can’t go in through the main door because I bet there will be press outside. We will get in by the parking lot. Acker will come too, of course.” James went over what he had been already discussing with Anderson for over an hour at his office. “We will take you from there to the reunion with the committee. That’s the easy part because there will be a lot of security around the committee and that’s an advantage, still, we will have our eyes open.”

Shepard listened to him carefully and a little turned on but how sexy he was. He was serious and professional, explaining to her the exits of the building and how he was going to handle security. A calmed expression on his face, the space between his eyebrows frowned, his eyes fixed on her and his omnitool while he was reviewing the building’s blueprint.  _ Pay attention, Shepard _ , she reprimanded herself.

Meanwhile, James continued. “The conference room will be well secured too but we won’t go in there. I don’t care what they want or what they say. You won’t stand in front of the press and Anderson agreed. He would talk on your behalf, if necessary.” She gratefully smiled at him.

“The tricky part is to get you out of the building. There will be press at the entrance of the parking lot, in anticipation at your arrival, and they will see us going in on a red shuttle, we will make sure of that,” he smiled, “and they will see that shuttle leave afterward, but we will leave on foot to another shuttle parked outside. We will take the elevator to the parking lot and then leave through here,” he pointed at a fire exit on his omnitool. “That’s our way out. It’s not the most original idea ever, but I think it will work.” He finished.

“Well thought, Lieutenant. I like it,” Shepard said. “I don’t think we will face any trouble.  It’s just another annoying meeting but with a lot more people involved, that’s all,” she reassured him.

“I don’t get why they had to make public exactly the hour and the place where you will be, I have a bad feeling about it.” James was still concerned.

“They dislike not knowing where I am because they cannot control me. They’re afraid of the political consequences if I go rogue and act as a council spectre instead of an Alliance marine,” Shepard told him.

“But you’re Commander Shepard,” James said, “you wouldn’t do that.” James glanced at her with a smirk.

“Are you sure? I could go rogue anytime I want and you wouldn’t be able to stop me.” She challenged him. “I would knock you out and get out of here easily if I wanted to.”

“Really? Do you want to find out, Lola?” James turned to look at her.

“What would you do to stop me, James?” She crossed her arms over her chest.

James quickly grabbed her by the waist and carried her over his shoulders while standing up. “Yeah, Lola, what would I do?” He teased her. Shepard was chuckling, her belly over his shoulder, her legs tightly gripped by his arms and her upper body hanging uselessly at his back.  _ He is so strong the way he has lifted me, _ she thought.  _ But I can’t let you win, James _ .

James was laughing at her apparent vulnerability and it took him by surprise when she straightened herself and put an arm around his neck, he lost the grip on her legs and she used that to put them around his waist tightly. He lost his balance, maybe because of the momentum, or because of the grip of her legs so tight around him. He tried so hard not to grab her thighs that he only made it worse. They both fell on the couch with a blow. James grabbed the back of her neck and stopped the fall with his left forearm with a grunt. She was still stuck to his body, her legs wrapped around him and the warmth of his body enveloping her like a blanket in winter. James could feel his body reacting to hers, his chest against her soft breasts and the weight of her legs bringing his hips down to her core. She chuckled childishly until she took notice at the intimacy of their embrace. She suddenly felt her heart pounding and gasped at the awareness of his big body all over her. He was heavy but it felt so right to her.  _ Oh shit _ , she thought. His hand was tangled in her hair and his face so close she could hear his breathing. He was panting. Their eyes met, not strangers anymore. His big warm eyes were looking at her with endless lust.  _ James… _ she whispered and caressed his cheek with her free hand. She could feel his hardness pressed into her and blushed as she bit her lip.

Against her instincts, she loosened the grip of her legs, realizing she was pulling him to her unconsciously.  _ Gracias a Dios _ , he thought while resting a knee on the couch to get some distance between her and the prominent bulk in his groin. He was still grabbing her neck and, as he was standing up, he led his hand to her upper back to help her sit on the couch. He chuckled, clearly embarrassed. “You win, Lola, you can do whatever you want to me,” he said in a low groan, as he leaned over to rest his elbows on his knees and glanced at her. That sent a throbbing tingling sensation between her legs. “Don’t say that twice or I’ll take your word for it, James.” The words escaped her mouth in a flirty way that she didn’t regret at all, judging by how they were looking at each other right now, both clearly flustered. As the tension was easing they started laughing at the situation and they slowly resumed their previous conversation. They were back to reality.

Late that night he was still going over the plan and the building’s blueprint while he laid on his bed. James didn’t want to miss anything in case they needed an alternate escape route. The fire exit seemed the obvious choice because it was in the middle of the parking lot and led to a less transited backstreet. James sighed and rubbed his eyes. He was tired and frustrated. His previous encounter with Shepard on the couch had highly unsettled him. He had flashes on his mind about her sweet face under his, the feeling of her hair tangled in his fingers, the light weight of her head on his hand and her legs… her legs trapping him and bringing him to her with strength, with desire.  _ Damn it, James, stop it, the only desire there was yours _ .

But then he remembered the way her breasts were clustered against his chest, so full and soft. He wondered how would actually feel to touch them, to gently squeeze them into his big hand, probably feeling her hard tip against his palm.  _ Shit, I need to stop _ .  _ Me voy a volver loco, por Dios _ . He felt his member twitch at the thought of her and grunted. James slipped a hand down and took his member into his hand surprised at how hard it already was.  _ Joder, Lola _ . He started stroking himself lightly from the base to the tip, in slow motions.  _ I haven’t done this thinking about her for a very long time _ . Sure, he used to relieve himself thinking about Shepard, but it wasn’t just a fantasy anymore. It felt more real and far more stimulating. This was about his Lola.

He gave up to his lust and closed his eyes, pumping faster and feeling the rush of pleasure all over his body. James thought about how her body had felt against him earlier. He imagined Shepard right on top of him, kissing his neck and stroking his throbbing shaft with a light hand. She’d go down on him slowly until she would tease him kissing her way down from his belly to his pelvis, finally meeting his hand around him. She would let her tongue out to swirl around the tip of his member until her lips finally met his swollen end and she would slide him inside of her mouth with a slow long movement. He could feel his orgasm building deep inside him and cursed himself for it. He wanted to get lost in his fantasy a bit longer. So he stroked himself slowly again, panting in response. He thought again about Shepard and his hard member in her mouth, moving her lips around it, taking him in and out to finally lick and press her red swollen lips all over it with small kisses just to take him into her mouth again, this time sucking hard, sinking him deeper and faster into her mouth, with a rhythm only mimicked by his own hand pumping briskly his hard-on. He could even feel his fingers gently tangled in her hair and he just came. His orgasm released strong and slow, soothing himself now, enjoying every single second of his hand squeezing his member.  _ Joder, that was something else _ , he thought. And sleep drifted him away while he thought about Shepard.

Shepard’s room was suffocating tonight. She was tossing and turning on the bed until she got tangled with her own sheets. She stood up and thought about going to talk to James.  _ He’s probably asleep _ , she thought,  _ it wouldn’t be wise _ , and dropped herself on the bed again. He had been so lustful that day on the couch, lifting her without any effort and then, she remembered his weight on her and bit her lip with desire.  _ Damn it, Shepard. Stop this right now. _ She had never found brawny men attractive before, but there was something about James that allured her like no one before.  _ It’s not his body _ , she thought,  _ well, it’s not only his body, I find him horribly desirable _ .  _ It’s how he looks at me, as though he wants to hold me into his arms and then pin me to a wall at the same time _ . Shepard blushed at the thought.  _ His scars are also so attractive, they make him look like a grunt but he’s so sweet and caring _ . She was touching her own lips thinking about that little scar of him. She got angry at herself and buried her head into the pillow and groaned.

It was the morning of the meeting and James had been ten minutes in front of his own door thinking about whether to come outside or not. He finally got the courage to open the door and saw Shepard sitting comfortably on the couch with a mug in her hand.

“Good morning, James,” she said, “did you sleep well?”

He instantly blushed looking back on his fantasy last night. “Good morning, Lola.”

“We still have some time, I made coffee,” she frowned. “Are you alright? It will be fine, you’ll see.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m good.” He went to the kitchen to help himself a cup of coffee.  _ I really need to start taking cold showers instead _ . He sighed, feeling a bit better as he drank his coffee.

“Ready when you are, Lola.” James smiled at her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it, as always! I am always open to suggestions and advice <3 And poor James, couldn't help himself.


	6. Enjoying the views

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What could possibly go wrong?

It was early in the morning and the streets were quiet and peaceful, a clear light bathed the city and made Shepard’s eyes narrow. Acker was driving and James was in the passenger seat. She looked at him tenderly and caught him yawning, that small daily gesture made her smile. After living with him for two months she noticed those little things he made, like rolling his shoulders to ease the tension, drum with his fingers on the kitchen countertop, to whistle while cooking or to silently grunt when he was falling asleep and didn’t want to; those little things always made her crave his company when he wasn’t around. And they always made her smile. Shepard became aware of Acker looking at her through the mirror and smirked at him. The Lieutenant suddenly pretended he hadn’t seen anything and kept driving. James seemed more relaxed than yesterday and focused on the task. She was still looking at him when he turned his head to the backseat. James beamed at her.  _ He really has one of those smiles that can leave you breathless, _ Shepard thought.

“You okay back there, Lola?” James asked her.

“Enjoying the views, Lieutenant,” she said. He grinned at her answer and chuckled.

“Now you made me blush,” he said, still chuckling.

They arrived at the Alliance headquarters almost two hours early and that gave her enough time to see Anderson at his office and relax before the infamous reunion with the committee started.

 

In the end, the meeting had gone relatively well, they assured her that the trial would be, in fact, in two weeks, they also had told her they were gathering more intel about the incident with the alpha relay, even if they already had her report. According to the committee, Shepard also needed to undergo a physical and psychological evaluation.  _ Annoying, but I’ll comply _ , she thought. And, before Anderson could ask anything else, they were finished.

“Two more weeks and I’ll be in a batarian prison,” Shepard joked.

“They wouldn’t dare to do that,” James said outraged.

Anderson chuckled, “surely they won’t do that. Whether they like it or not you’re a war hero and you did a hell of a thing,” he paused, “at a great cost. Anyhow, I should get going, the press conference will start in thirty minutes. You should leave as soon as possible while they’re preoccupied with bigger fish.”

“I hope it isn’t too bad, Anderson, you lack the political touch as much as I do,” Shepard told him.

Anderson laughed and hugged her. “Take care, you too Lieutenant. Let me know when you get home safely.”

“Yes, sir,” James answered. “Let’s go, Shepard.”

“No Lola in front of Anderson, huh?” Shepard teased him and James nodded his head, amused.

The parking lot was almost empty, just a few shuttles and some workers around. Acker, Shepard and James were crossing the wide empty space until they reached their vehicle. James opened the trunk and grabbed an M-6 Carnifex pistol. “Just in case,” he said.

“Not fair, I want one too,” Shepard complained. James handed her a couple of thermal clips and she rolled her eyes at him.

“Lieutenant, take the shuttle for a long ride and make sure they notice you, change the windows setting to private so they can’t see who’s inside but let your window open so they can recognize you,” James told him. “Shepard and I will get to the back alley to take the other shuttle and, luckily, head to the apartment. If they try to follow us I’ll call you for backup. Understood?” The clicking noise of the thermal clip fitting the gun made Shepard feel like home.

“Yes, sir.” Acker obeyed and got into the red vehicle, leaving them behind.

“Let’s go, Lola,” James told her. He walked in front of her, checking every corner with the Carnifex ready to fire. Two floors of stairs and they were outside in the alley. He put the gun down and checked for any presence around the area. Shepard followed him quietly obeying his orders without question.

The alley was deserted except for some dumpsters. They started walking again until James pulled Shepard’s shirt and forced her to duck with him behind some service stairs. He led a finger to his lips as a sign to keep quiet. Then he lifted two fingers and she understood. There were two men waiting at the end of the alley. She glanced quickly and nodded back to him.

“Stay here, I don’t know if they’re friend or foe.” James left her there and took cover behind a dumpster. Now he wished Acker was armed with him and not driving a stupid shuttle around. James now had a clear view that they were armed with assault rifles and were patrolling the area.  _ Guards? _ He thought. They were dressed as Alliance marines but their weapons gave them away. He needed to get rid of them before they could call reinforcements. They were murmuring something on the communicator so they were organized. James came back to his previous cover where Shepard was impatiently waiting for him.

“Alliance?” Shepard asked him.

James nodded his head. “They’re dressed as Alliance marines but their weapons don’t match. White and yellow assault rifles, probably automatic.”

“Cerberus Harrier,” Shepard assured. “They’re Cerberus.”

_ Shit, why are they here? _ James thought. He really wanted to be in full armor right now. I bet there’s another couple patrolling the other end of the alley. “Let’s go back inside and see if we can find another way out.”

“You should have given me a gun,” Shepard told him with a mischievous smile. It’s like she was excited to get some action. But James wasn’t, he was worried and focused on getting her out of there as soon as possible. He called Acker with his omnitool and quickly explained the situation. He wasn’t far away. James took a once-over at the troops. Still there. Then they moved from the service stairs to another dumpster and finally to the door they had crossed earlier. He opened it and they went down the stairs when he suddenly heard another patrol going up right into them.  _ Mierda _ , he thought. He signaled Shepard, that was aware of everything in advanced.  _ She’s easy to work with _ , he thought. They went up the stairs, again, and went outside the alley. “We will stay here. The door will cover us when they open it if they come this way. If they’re patrolling the stairs we will try to sneak inside and head to the parking lot.” Shepard agreed and nodded at him. “Stay behind me,” James ordered.  _ So bossy _ , she thought.

Unfortunately, the two Cerberus troops stopped by the door and opened it. Adrenaline was already rushing through James, that quickly grabbed one by the neck and shoot the other right on the face. His head exploded inside his helmet and made a crushing noise. The other one tried to talk on the communicator, barely speaking because of the force James was applying on his neck, which snapped under his pressure and left a hanging body that fell to the floor with a dull noise. James took his Harrier and handed Shepard his Carnifex.

She thoroughly opened her eyes. “Are you giving me a gun, Mr.Vega?”

“You’re Commander Shepard, the last thing I want is to have you defenseless in a fight,” James said. “But stay behind me. That’s an order.” She smiled at his cockiness.

“They won’t have more than four or six troops around,” James said.

“I hope you’re right. You’d be surprised at how many troops can Cerberus throw at you in an hour. A shameless waste of lives.” Shepard assured him.

They tried to go back to the stairs but they heard another patrol and decided to try the other side of the alley. They positively knew there was a patrol where they tried to route before, but they were in no condition to start a fight without enough ammunition, so they opted to check the other way, besides, sooner or later the other patrol would find the corpses and they will lose the element of surprise.

They were moving swiftly through the empty street. The alley was between buildings, full of service doors, stairs, and containers. James spotted another patrol and cursed. “The one on the right is yours, left one is mine,” he commanded. “Once they hear the gunshot noise we have to run for the shuttle quickly, it’s not far from here.” She nodded at him. She missed the action, the guns and the adrenaline rush through her veins.

In unison, they both went out their cover and shoot. James fired a burst to the chest and the poor guy dropped dead instantly. Shepard shoot three times. All three bullets right to the head.  _ Damn, she’s a nice shooter even with a pistol _ , he thought.

Everything happened quickly. They suddenly found themselves between enemy fire. The patrol had found the corpses and the remaining Cerberus troops were right on their backs. They had to take cover and fast. James shot a burst of covering fire and Shepard did the same with the last two bullets of her Carnifex. Then he covered her with his body while they were trying to run, while crouching, to a safe cover. They were almost there when a bullet hit James in his right shoulder, passing through him. A clean shot. Shepard heard him groan in pain and a sickening feeling grew in her stomach. They ducked behind some convenient storage boxes under a heavy rain of bullets.

He grunted again. “I’m out of ammo, Lola.”

“You’re bleeding a lot, let me see.” While she was inspecting his wound and checking that it was, indeed, a clean shot, he contacted Acker on his omnitool.

“Where are you, Lieutenant? We’re out of ammo, the south exit of the alley. There are,” he picked at the troops, “four Cerberus agents dressed as Alliance soldiers right on us.”

“I’m on my way with Anderson and two more marines.” Acker informed. “We’re already at the alley”. Shepard yelled to the omnitool “Hurry! James has been shot!”

“Are you hurt, Lola?” He looked at her. Shepard was worried sick at the amount of blood he was losing. James was pale and there was no way she could apply a tourniquet. They had no medigel, no armor, no shields, nothing that could help him right now. She was trying to put pressure on the wound with her hands but seemed pretty useless.

“James, hang in there, they will arrive soon,” Shepard told him, still pressing with her hands looking directly into his eyes, her heart pounding in her chest.

“Are you worried about me, Lola?” He smiled. “It’s just a scratch.” He lifted his left hand to touch her face and she tilted her head to it, pressing it against her shoulder and kissing his palm. The skin of his hand felt coarse and rough against her lips.

“Stay with me, James, stay with me…” she kept whispering. That was the last thing he heard before he became unconscious and the hand dropped to her lap.

Shepard heard some more gunshot in the background and she knew Anderson and Acker were right there. When the bullets stopped flying around she shouted “Anderson! Right here!”

She was still holding James trying to stop the bleeding.  _ How can a single bullet make such a mess _ , she thought. The entrance wound was on his back and the bullet went all the way through to exit at his collarbone, it didn’t look good. Shepard anxiously looked for Anderson, that helped her stand up.

“Acker, take her to the shuttle and to the apartment. Stay there until I contact you again,” Anderson ordered him.

“Yes, sir,” Acker assented.

“No way! I’m going with James to the hospital.” The other two marines were applying some medigel to close the wound and laboriously lifting James to carry him.

“Are you hurt?” Anderson asked her. She nodded as a negative. “Then you go with Acker. Don’t argue with me, Shepard.”

She was going to say something but all her anger disappeared at the sight of James unconscious. “Please, keep him safe,” she said to Anderson, instead. An anxious demand all over her eyes.

“I will. Now go, both of you.” Anderson dispatched them.

Shepard was walking behind Acker and glancing back until she couldn’t see James or Anderson anymore.  _ Please, be okay _ . She sighed and the anger against Cerberus came back to her in a rush.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor James! Shepard really didn't want to leave him behind...


	7. Back and forth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard waits for James to come back from the Hospital and they both wonder about their past relationships and their feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of fluff!

The warm water was washing James’ blood off her body. She was looking down to the drainpipe with both hands placed on the wall in front of her. Shepard felt the stream on her back and bit her lip to stop the tears. _He’s a soldier. He’s going to be fine. I’m overreacting_. She hated feeling like this. Shepard cared about her crew and her squad during missions, especially after losing so many at her command all over the years -she thought briefly of Ashley-, but James… her heart ached for him. He had to be ok. Her right hand turned into a fist against the tiles of the wall. She punched the wall and then she punched it again, harder. Until she felt the pain in her hand, and her own blood staining the wall.

Shepard regretted her little sparring session with the wall as soon as she had to explain Acker what had happened. “Don’t say anything,” Shepard stated. Anderson hadn’t called yet and she was getting more and more worried by the second. She sat on the couch, her hair still wet from the shower, and her hand still with a numb aching. Suddenly, Acker’s omnitool started beeping. She jumped and got closer to him.

“Sir?” Acker quickly answered.

“Ask him about James,” Shepard said, grabbing Acker’s arm to look at the little display of his omnitool “Is he ok?”

“James is in the operating room right now. He’s out of danger but it was close… he’s been shot with a piercing bullet. They said those bullets do more internal damage than external, if he had been shot in the chest he’d be dead by now,” Anderson told them, and a shudder run through Shepard’s body.

“Shit, I knew something was off when he was losing so much blood so fast,” Shepard said, grabbing Acker’s arm and twisting it so she could talk to Anderson better. “But is he going to be ok? Can I go to the hospital now?” She wanted to be there with him as soon as he opened his eyes, she owed him that much.

“No. Stay there with Acker, “Anderson answered. “I’ll call tomorrow and let you know about the Lieutenant. I will stay in the hospital until he’s out of surgery.”

“But…” Shepard started to say, pissed at his orders, but got interruped quickly by Anderson.

“Don’t argue with me, I can’t have you in a hospital full of people after what happened today at the Alliance headquarters,” Anderson ordered, very seriously.

“Just tell him…” She couldn’t finish. _Tell him I’m worried sick, that I need him to be okay and to come back, that I’m so sorry he got shot because of me and that I want huevos rancheros for breakfast tomorrow_. She choked at her own words. “Tell him to get well soon, Anderson,” she finally said.

“I will. Now, Can I talk to Acker?” She gave Acker back his arm and went to her room to be alone and rant about this stupid situation where all she could do is to wait for him to come back.  _I can’t believe I can’t even visit him. I’m here waiting and doing nothing while he’s on surgery. I want to be there when he wakes up, he has to know I care_. Shepard wanted to punch a wall again and sighed.

 

A piercing pain crushed his right side like a knife. When he thought it had stopped it would start again, like an endless wave over half his body. James couldn’t open his eyes even if he tried. He wanted to, but he couldn’t move. It was like being underwater, flashes going through his eyes and deafen background noise. He lost consciousness again and drifted into a dream where he was sinking and trying to desperately swim, but he was too heavy and too tired. He called her name, but no sound came out of his mouth. Suddenly, an intense light made him blink. _Where am I?_ he thought ** _._** _I got shot and she told me to stay with her_ , he remembered. James tried to stand up, but he was disorientated, and a hand pushed him back to the bed. The light was overwhelming, and the pain excruciating. “Lola?” James tried to articulate, his mouth thick and dry. He heard Anderson’s voice. “Calm down, Lieutenant, let yourself some time to recover.” James passed out again.

 

The next morning Shepard woke up on the couch. Acker was probably sleeping in James’ room. She liked the couch, her room was too small sometimes. She liked it better when James was around and she could bother him while he was working, to steal some moments together, but James was still at the hospital and she was feeling trapped. More than ever before. Shepard started making coffee and realized she had to calm down. She had to block her feelings and not let them overwhelm her like they always did. She hadn’t been very emotional for the most part of her life, and that’s probably what got her into the N7 program so early in her career. She was focused on that, and nothing else mattered. Sure, she had friends and lovers, she got attached to people, but not at that level. It wasn’t until she met Kaidan that he managed to burn himself into her, to smash every wall and open every door to see the very essence of her. It was terrifying and freeing at the same time. _I won’t regret that ever in my life_ , she thought. Then she died, when they were so close and connected with each other, and the rejection after that had hurt her more than anything in her life, to look at him directly into his eyes while he was telling her that she was a Cerberus puppet, a traitor to the Alliance no less. She had to overcome this and face a suicide mission without him, and she did. That changed her in so many ways, she opened up to her friends, she let herself enjoy being with her crew, the loyalty, the camaraderie, there were no walls anymore, and she could be herself. It was a different kind of love, but it filled her and gave her life, purpose. She stood in front of the window, with her coffee, looking outside at the sun fighting to shine through the clouds, and sighed at the thought of James.

What she felt for James was something else. This was new and exciting, sure, but this was… huge. Shepard was scared because this had hit her without a warning, and there was so much to consider, to think about, so much to just build another wall and not let him in. _Can I really stop that right now? Am I already lost?_ A sleepy Acker came into the living room and startled her with his good morning.

“Anderson hasn't called yet,” He told her before she could even ask. She nodded to him as a thank you.

 

James’ head felt lighter and less muddled than yesterday. He slowly opened his eyes, and didn’t recognize the room he was into. A hospital room. His mouth was dry and tasted like blood.

“Good evening, Lieutenant Vega,” Anderson greeted him while handing him some water with a straw. He had stayed all this time with him because he didn’t want to risk leaving him alone after the attack.

“Is Shepard ok?” James’ voice was husky.

“She is safe, thanks to you.” Anderson told him.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t foresee the situation.” James’ throat hurt while speaking, and he could feel a numb pain over his shoulder and chest.

“You defeated a full Cerberus squad with a pistol and no armor. You’re a good soldier, and that’s why I chose you for the job,” he reassured him.

“Thank you, sir,” James said. “How long have I been out? And when I can leave?” All he could think about was coming back to her.

“You just woke up from being unconscious for almost 30 hours. Take it easy.” Anderson almost laughed at the soldier’s determination.

“What about Shepard?” James tried to say

“Shepard is fine, a pain in my ass because I won’t let her come visit you, but she’ll survive.” Anderson smiled. “Though Acker told me she punched a wall, that woman and her temper, but other than that, she will be fine. Let’s worry about you, Lieutenant. You took a piercing bullet shot and you’re lucky to be alive. Use your time here to rest and recover,” Anderson ordered him.

He chuckled and agreed. “I will, sir, but I would like to reinstate as soon as possible," James insisted. _Why would you hit a wall, Lola?_

“I have to leave now, take care," Anderson said. "And you should call Lola as soon as you can, you’ve been asking for her in your dreams.” A smirk on Anderson’s mouth. “I’ll be back tomorrow to see how you’re doing.”

James blushed instantly and went to scratch his neck but it hurt to move his right arm. “Goodbye, sir.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll let Shepard know you’re awake and recovering,” Anderson said to him when he was at the doorstep ready to leave.

James stared at the ceiling on top of his bed feeling a bit lonely. The pain was bearable but he wanted so bad to talk to Shepard. His feelings for her were getting out of hand. A crush is a crush but this was more. _And I’m fucked because she’s out of my league and she just… likes me because there’s no one else around_ . When he joined the military he knew he was giving up relationships. He had tried before and it hadn’t work, his girlfriends always grew tired of him leaving, and you can’t have a relationship from one shore leave to another. So James had stopped fraternizing. One-night-stands, yeah, sure, from time to time as long as he didn’t have to commit to a relationship after, but James couldn’t remember feeling like this about anyone before. He thought he had been in love a long time ago, but what he was experiencing being with Shepard was so intense and overwhelming he didn’t know how to put a name to it. _I just want to be around her, follow her wherever she goes, to protect her and fight along with her_ . He groaned from the pain on his shoulder as he tried to move. _But I also want to hold her in my arms, to feel her around me and kiss her, well, more than kiss her, if we’re being honest here, I want to touch her all over, to show her how much I... how much I want her_ . He sighed, frustrated, and put his left arm over his eyes. S _he’s worried about me_ , he smiled.

 

The sun was down and it was growing darker. Shepard was confused and still sleepy. She was on the couch again, tangled in a blanket and thirsty. A glass of water was over the coffee table, and she avidly drank it. The luxury of sleeping deeply wasn’t something Shepard let herself enjoy very often. She looked at the watch, it was 8 PM. The last time she spoke to Anderson was yesterday afternoon when he told her that James was awake and recovering. _It’s been three days and I miss him so much. If only I could talk to him… maybe I can trick Acker into calling him_ , she plotted. Shepard was on her way to James’ room to find Acker when she heard a noise at the front door. 

 

Anderson and James were in the elevator to the apartment. It was the first time Anderson went there because he was a public figure and didn’t want to compromise her safety, but since he found James voluntary discharged at the reception of the hospital, he wanted to make sure he got there in one piece. There was no way to convince him to spend another day there. Anderson couldn’t figure out why he was so eager to come back.

James opened the front door and, as he entered, he saw Shepard standing in the living room. He met her smile and it filled his heart with warmth and relief, as she quickly walked to him and hugged him tightly. It hurt, but he didn’t care. He hugged her with his left arm and caressed her back as she buried herself into his chest. _How I’ve missed her_ … he thought. _She really was worried about me_. 

When Shepard saw a pale and beaten up James at the door, she swiftly walked to him and locked her arms around his chest, hugging him and burying herself there as though it was the safest place in the world. She breathed in his essence and realized again how much she had missed him. Anderson coughed behind James. Shepard felt a bit embarrassed all of the sudden. “I got one for you too, Anderson, don’t get jealous,” Shepard said while breaking her embrace with James and hugging Anderson too.

“I didn’t peg you for a hugger, child.” Anderson arched an eyebrow at her. She just turned around and walked to the couch, where Acker was already waiting for them. They spent a couple of hours catching up until Anderson and Acker left, and they were finally alone in their little world that almost shattered to pieces three days ago.

“How are you feeling, James?” she asked him.

“Better now, Lola.” James was really tired and needed rest. He had to come back, so he decided to request a voluntary discharge as soon as he could stand up.

James looked really tired, _maybe he did leave the hospital way too soon_ , Shepard thought. “Mr. Vega, I think I’m putting you to bed right now.” Shepard told him. He shuddered at those words coming out of her mouth, but then he realized he really was exhausted and needed some rest. 

“Don’t boss me around, Lola.” She didn’t let him time to argue, Shepard stood up and he followed her to his own room.

“You’re the bossy one, with your “that’s an order” from the other day,” she joked. “Now, you take off your clothes and I’ll be back in a second with a glass of water and whatever painkillers they got you at the hospital.”

“Are you going to tuck me in?” he said with a groan and a half-smile while looking at her, as sexy as someone in his condition could be.

“Always a shameless flirt, James.” She headed to the kitchen happy to have him back in one piece.

James took off his shoes and fatigues, and put some sweatpants. He removed his left arm from his shirt and was trying to slide it around his neck single-handed, when Shepard’s hands helped him. She carefully freed his head and watched his dog tags fall against his muscled chest with a tingling sound. Then she saw the bandage still there at his right shoulder and swallowed at how close she had been to lose him. She helped with his right arm, even if he was well enough to do that for himself, she wanted to take care of him somehow. He laid on the bed and looked at her with tired eyes.

“Sleep tight, Lieutenant, I’m glad to have you back,” Shepard said. “If you need anything just yell,” and she winked at him.

As she was leaving the room James called her out “Hey, Lola!” He didn’t want her to leave, but he couldn’t just ask her to stay with him tonight. She turned around to look at him. “No goodnight kiss?” He said, with a low husky voice that sent a shiver through her spine.

“James, if I kiss you good night you won’t sleep at all.” She flirted and then left him there with a grin all over his face. _And If I spent another minute watching you on the bed, shirtless and asking for kisses I might lose whatever self-control I have left,_ she sighed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't let them apart for too long. I hope you liked it! I feel like these two are like a snowball...


	8. To be found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James still has to recover from his wound but Shepard is more than happy to help him.

It was late at night. Too late to be awake, but Shepard couldn’t sleep. She decided she had enough of looking at the ceiling on top of her bed, so she took a datapad and a blanket and headed towards the living room. James was still recovering, he came back two days ago, and everything went back to normal very quickly. Back to their harmless flirting and jokes.  _ It doesn’t feel like I’m trapped anymore,  _ she thought. She saw a faint light and hoped James was there. As she entered the room she saw him sitting on the couch.

He was a mess, though a cute mess, with a bare chest and a lot of medical stuff in the coffee table in front of him. She stayed there, still, watching him with curiosity and a half smile on her face. She realized he wasn’t aware of her presence.

“Need some help, Lieutenant?” she finally said.

_ “Joder _ , Lola. You scared the hell out of me,” he said, giving up trying to clean his own wound and looking at her a bit annoyed. “Not sleeping again?”

She came near him and worry invaded her as she could see the situation clearer. She sure had missed him these past few days, having Acker around was nice but not like having James around. “You know me. I’d rather sleep in the mornings.”

“I told you I should’ve tucked you in and you’d be dreaming of “ _ los angelitos” _ right now,” he flirted.

_ Damn. He was sexy even in pain _ , she thought. “You couldn’t handle me right now, Vega. Here, let me help you.” She sat by his side, her right thigh touching his. She loved the way he felt, always warm and inviting. She looked at the open wound on his right shoulder with concern as it was slightly bleeding and dripping over his chest. As she took a medical gauze and started applying some  _ medigel  _ over it she inquired him. “So, tell me, James, what did you do? or should I send you back to the hospital?” She started cleaning the blood and smiled at the little grunt he let out.

He was a bit embarrassed by being caught in that situation. After all, he brought this on himself trying to work out way too soon, and he damn knew he couldn’t lie to her. He was going to answer when he got distracted by the scent of her hair, she was too close, and he could feel her leg against his and the touch of her hand over his leg.

“Are you going to tell me or what?” She said, looking directly into his eyes.

James sighed. **“** I tried to work out, you know, pull-ups. I have to take care of this body, Lola.” He tried to flex and she couldn’t help but suppress a laugh.

“Oh, James, I could punch you if you weren’t already in so much pain. Come here, let me see the entry wound.” He obeyed. Instead of turning him around she just passed one arm around his left shoulder bringing him closer until his forehead rested against her shoulder. Her fingers were touching the back of his neck and that made him flinch, and also made him forget a little bit about the piercing pain on his right shoulder.

“It’s bleeding too. I’m going to clean it,” she told him. “This might hurt a little bit.” He didn’t answer, he just grunted again against her shoulder. She started cleaning the wound slowly while caressing the back of his neck, enjoying the feeling of his skin and the little short hairs from his military cut rubbing her fingers. _ I think this is the first time I’ve touched him like this _ , she thought. “They wouldn’t let me visit you at the hospital,” she said with a sour voice, “but I wanted to. I really did.”

He smiled because he already knew that. “I know, Lola, don’t sweat it.”

“It does matter to me.” She stopped cleaning the wound and she reached for the  _ medigel  _ again. He turned his head to her, his nose slightly touching her neck. She could feel his breathing on her neck and it sent a shiver through her body. She swallowed before speaking again. “You took a bullet for me, James, and it could’ve killed you. If something happened to you I…”

He cut in. “Of course, I did, it could’ve killed you and I wasn’t going to let that happen.” The sound of his voice and his beard tingling her skin were too much, as she found herself blushing for no reason. Shepard was lucky he couldn’t see it, though she felt the warmth of her face going down her neck too.

“James,” she gasped.

“I’d take a bullet for you every day, Lola. I knew what I was getting into accepting this assignment.” He tried to sound professional. And failed.

“So, you were just doing your job.” It sounded like a question to him. A question he wasn’t going to answer, not yet. Instead, he placed his left arm firmly around her waist and buried his head into her neck, his nose and lips touching her skin. She felt her heart race. He embraced her scent and her warmth as he smiled. It felt too good to be this close to her. In response, she slid her hand deep into his hair, bringing him onto her as she sighed. They spent like that less than a minute, just enjoying the closeness they didn’t usually get to enjoy; until she broke the silence.

“This is patched up already. Let’s finish with your chest wound.” It had stopped bleeding, that was a good sign. He sat up and leaned on the couch.  _ Damn he looked tired and beaten up and he still managed to grant her a smile _ , she thought.

“Thank you, Lola,” he said.

“Don’t thank me, I didn’t get shot,” she said while concentrating on the task in hand and leaning towards him. She finished patching up the wound, trying not to get distracted by the magnificent naked torso in front of her. Easier said than done. She had seen him without a shirt before many times while he was working out. She knew he loved to show off and she wasn’t going to complain about that. But this was different, more intimate. It felt good. Their eyes met and there she was, blushing again like a fucking teenager and she couldn’t even get angry at herself for it. “Nurse Shepard is done for now and please, don’t work out until your doctors tell you so, please.” That sounded more like a demand than a petition to him, and he liked that about her, she knew exactly how to get to him. “So, painkillers, where are they?” she asked.

“That white canister there,” he said pointing at the table.

“They gave you the good stuff. Here, take it,” she handed him a couple of pills. “Or maybe you should take it in bed because I guarantee you’re gonna be knocked out in less than 10 minutes.” He just swallowed the pills before she could finish her sentence, then looked at her with a strange look of gratitude mixed with something else she couldn’t figure out.

“I think I’ll just crash here for a while. Or until tomorrow, I haven’t decided yet,” he said with that husky voice that made her shiver, while lying back on the couch and closing his eyes.

“Then I’ll leave and let you rest, I can read in my room.” She took the blanket she brought with her earlier and covered him carefully. He opened his eyes to look at her and took her hand into his like he was going to fall if he didn’t reach her.

“Can you stay for a bit?” She answered him with a smile and sat beside him. He placed his head over her lap. “ _ Buenas noches _ , Lola.” Her heart skipped a beat just with the sight of him resting so peacefully against her and she started touching his head and tangling her fingers in his short hair. Another grunt. She leaned back on the couch and smiled at the ceiling. This was definitely a lot better than her room’s ceiling. Shepard realized the datapad was too far from her reach and laugh to herself. Well, she wasn’t going to be focused on the reading anyway. She looked at him again and he was already asleep, with his head on her lap and a hand over her leg.  _ This is the best night since I came back to earth. I thought I came here to be forgotten by everyone and I found you. I guess I’ll be taking care of you tonight for a change, Mr. Vega,  _ she thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the first thing I had ever written from these two or ever!! So I find it so cute and tender <3 I hope you liked it.


	9. Inevitable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard and James leave the incident behind and get into their little routine again.

Today was one of the good days among all the shitty days Shepard had to spend alone trapped between those four walls. The confinement was starting to affect her more than she’d like to, she missed the Normandy, her cabin, and her freedom, but above all, she missed her crew. Emptiness was a lonely feeling she couldn’t shake off. James only could take her away from all that, and make her forget the situation she was into, but she didn’t want him to bear that burden. It wasn’t fair. Shepard expected house arrest to be a nightmare, but James was so easygoing. Being with him was like a balm, he got through her so well it was scary.

They were able to go to the gym facilities today, and she was beyond grateful for it. She really needed to blow off steam and run until extenuation hit her hard. At least, she was free while she was running. Besides, she had an interesting view of a perfectly recovered James lifting weights right in front of her. He was sweaty, and his muscles were swollen by the effort, but he kept going. As usual, he was showing off, and she wasn’t the only one enjoying the views. Three young recruits were staring at him between giggles.  _ I cannot blame them _ , she thought while biting her lip and finding herself a bit thirsty all of the sudden,  _ he’s worth seeing _ .  _ At least today he’s keeping his shirt on _ . He looked at her and smiled.  _ Shit, he caught me _ . Shepard loved to watch him when he was working out, the way he prepared his dumbbells, how his muscles twitched, the tempo of his movements. He was so damn sexy it took her breath away every single time. It had been a long time since she had been attracted to another man like she was attracted to James. She remembered Kaidan, his back covered by moles and that aura of masculinity that always surrounded him, but it was different with James, he was bulky and big, and made her wonder so many things long forgotten for her.

_ Why did I go for an extra set today?  _ James thought. _ This is going to hurt in the morning. _ He looked at her and smiled.  _ Right, because she’s looking and I bet she likes it _ . Suddenly, he took notice of the three young recruits that were walking towards him, and he shook his head with a smirk all over his face.

“Hello, are you new around here? You don’t look like a recruit,” asked one of the girls with a weird smile on her face, while the other two hide behind her. He reacted quickly and introduced himself: “Lieutenant Vega, nice to meet you guys.”

“An LT! Nice to meet you, sir. My name is Mera and these are Shaun and Laura,” the cute blonde girl introduced herself and her friends. He stared at them and then at Shepard, who was now walking on the treadmill and looking at them with curiosity. “So, tomorrow is Friday,” Mera said, and James’ attention switched back to them, “and we were wondering if you wanted to join us at the Loose Moose.” He smiled as his ego rose at the invitation of the young pals. James knew what kind of attention he got. He wasn’t particularly handsome, but his body stood out often and, why to deny it, he was a shameless flirt. “We usually hang out there with the other recruits, and since you’re new around here we were wondering if you were up to it.” The boy behind them was obviously blushing at his friend’s boldness. He smiled at them while drying the sweat of his neck with a towel.

Shepard could see a boy and two pretty girls walking towards James. She slowed the treadmill as if she could listen to the conversation by doing so. She couldn’t, but she saw James glancing at her for a second before smiling at the girls.  _ Of course, he is a flirt and he isn’t going to miss the chance _ , she thought. A hint of jealousy crossed her mind, but she shook it off quickly because he was waving them goodbye and crossing the room towards her.

“Hey, Lola,” James granted her that sweet smile of his. “Are you tired enough to go back? Because I sure went overboard today with the weights,” he said, leaning over the treadmill with his sweaty alliance shirt stuck to his muscles.

“Yes, I’m done and I need a shower, that I call dibs on, by the way,” she asserted. Shepard tried not to fall into his after-workout spell.

“Fine by me.” He looked at her narrowing his eyes. “Are you ok, Lola?” he asked in a funny way, or so she thought.

“Yes, of course.” She wanted to ask so badly about what they were talking about before, but she resisted and just climbed down the treadmill and picked her things up.

“Can you believe those recruits wanted to party with me tomorrow night? I still got it, I’m telling you,” he teased her, looking at his biceps and flexing.  _ So that was it about, _ she thought and frowned at him.

“Well, Vega, you put on a show today and it paid off.” She tried not to let any jealousy escape her lips. “You should be proud of yourself,” Shepard said that while heading out of the gym and turning her back to him. He followed her, obviously amused at her reaction, he was like a kid sometimes.

“Are you jealous, Lola?” He flirted. “Or you just said that because you were enjoying the show too?” He caught her pace towards the elevator, stepped in with her and pushed their floor button. James looked at her and she rolled her eyes at him trying to dismiss the conversation.

“You were working your muscles there for an hour, James, it was hard not to look at you and you know it,” she admitted in a low voice, reclining on the elevator and smiling at him. She was good at this game too, and he damn knew it. Maybe hiding her feelings behind this shameless flirting wasn’t the best idea, but the amusement was worth it. 

“It’s not like I can stand anywhere and look stunning like you do, Lola.” James smiled. “I have to work for it,” he told her in a husky voice, taking a step towards her. She didn’t know how he could make her shiver with something as simple as that.  _ It’s not what he says, it’s how he does it _ , she thought.

She stared at his lips, Shepard was eager for that half-smile of his, signed by the scar over his lower lip. She changed her gaze from his lips to his eyes and replied: “Keep trying, Vega, I’m not going to blush that easily,” she managed to say,  _ and _ , she thought,  _ I’m lucky I’m already flushed from the running _ .

By the time they got to the apartment they were talking and joking like usual. _I guess we’re becoming good friends like he’s one of my crew. Once I get the Normandy back, well, if -and that’s a big if- I get the Normandy back, I should recommend him to Anderson to serve under me._  She kept this train of thought as she headed to the shower and started undressing. Shepard turned on the water. _He was so sweet the other night_ , she thought, _as though he was craving my company and my touch but he couldn’t ask for it_. It made her wonder if he had feelings for her beyond their current friendship. She smiled and touched her neck remembering his breathing against it and closed her eyes trying to feel it again. She sighed in frustration. She looked herself in the mirror, meeting her eyes with the woman in her reflection. Thirty-two years old, Alliance marine since she was 18, but right now, her military career might be over forever only because she did what she had to do to stop the Reapers. For how long? that she didn’t know. Her brown-black eyes looked tired all of a sudden, tired of fighting against everything, of being alone and stuck here on earth. _Well, stuck with James_ , a little smile drawing over her mouth. She always tried to look on the bright side of life.

Shepard dismissed her reflection and stepped into the shower so the warm water could wash away her sweat and tension. She had to be strong, it was expected from her and so many people were counting on it. The trial was in a week and she couldn’t anticipate anything good from it. They would probably take her ranks away and make it official once and for all. Finally, after three months of agony waiting for a stupid date. She shook her head as if trying to remove the thought that soon could be a reality. She cleaned up fast as she realized James was waiting for her to finish up.  _ Thinking about James in the shower isn’t a good idea, Shepard, she lectured herself. _

James kept thinking that she was actually, genuinely jealous before, but It couldn’t be. She was just messing around with him because probably, he was being too obvious about his “little” crush on her. He didn’t know what had gotten into him the other night. He had been brave enough to get close to her and hold her. His arm around her waist and his lips longing to land a kiss on her neck. He got shivers all over his body just thinking about her firm waist and the warmth of her body, but none of them had talked about it. Words are sometimes not needed, but this was driving him mad. He woke up the next morning in the couch, and he would swear he had seen her smiling looking out the window, but she had just offered him coffee like nothing out of line had happened. He regretted not having kissed her that night, but crossing that line was dangerous for them. They were in a situation where things could be easily misunderstood, he was his guard and they knew each other only for a few months. And she was Commander Shepard. 

He had looked up to Commander Shepard since he enlisted. He even had a poster of her, for god sake, he had admired her as a soldier and a war hero in those early years, and he had hated her too, especially after Fehl prime. But it wasn’t until he met her that he had started to admire the woman in her. She is everything he expected her to be and more. He really wanted to see her in action with her full N7 armor and shooting everything in range, just like the vids he used to thoroughly watch. Instead, he got to see the real Shepard, a sad one, unfortunately, but Commander Shepard in the end. He could see how being restricted to this space was starting to show some wear and tear on her, and he was a bit worried about the trial next week and what might finally happen to her.  _ What if they decide to take her to a regular prison instead of being undercover? What if he just never got to see her again? _

James was traveling to a dark place of his mind when he suddenly saw her coming out of the bathroom with just a towel barely covering her body.  He swallowed and got tense. Her legs were still wet and his gaze went from her feet to her thighs, to find her perfectly shaped body wrapped in as a present, and he just went to another sweet dark place of his mind where he just would shorten the distance between them and would unwrap the towel to see and touch the body he had imagined so many times before. James would get lost figuring up how the shape of her ass would fit into his hands or how his lips would cover her partly opened mouth in a kiss. Instead, he stood there, watching her wet black hair dripping over her shoulders, until he met her eyes. Damn, he hadn’t been into someone the way he was into her and he could feel it in his groin. _Joder, Lola…_ he thought.

“ Are you even listening, Lieutenant?” she said a bit annoyed.”

“Yeah, sorry, I got distracted, what did you say?” he tried to sound casual as though he wasn’t paying attention to her obvious nakedness.

“It’s all yours,” she said pointing at the bathroom door.

_ Not quite yet, and she probably won’t ever be _ , _ so stop daydreaming, Vega, _ he said to himself bitterly. “Thank you, Lola.” She left the room, probably to get properly dressed, and he headed to the shower, because now, he needed a cold shower to get her out of his system.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter may not add much to the story but there's a couple of fluffy chapters to come and something might be hinted here. I hope you liked it ! <3  
> Thanks for reading ! I never expected anyone to read this, to posting it and getting kudos and comments makes my day.


	10. The time I kissed a turian

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James does something bold and makes Shepard a little mad. The key message of this one is: don't mix drinking and story-telling...

James had spent most of his afternoon filling out reports for Anderson and preparing Shepard’s next trip to the Alliance headquarters for the trial. It should be easy since nobody knew where she actually was, but coming back here could be tricky if he wanted to avoid being followed. He was facing the same problem as the last time, at least this hadn’t made public. Only God knows why they wanted to punish the war hero that delayed the Reapers arrival. James was getting a headache not only from that, but from Shepard’s wandering around the house. It was one of those days she couldn’t stay still, like a lion in a cage. He looked out the window and the lights were turning on, time to stop working for today. He called Acker up with his omnitool so he could come over and keep Shepard safe while he attended some business, as they had agreed this morning. James smiled while doing so, he had big plans for tonight.

The house was too small for her today. Shepard was bored to death and in a terrible mood. Even if she tried to keep herself busy she could manage that for a couple of hours, then it was madness again. She knew she had been annoying James while he was working, so she had stayed in her bedroom. As she was going over her reports about the reapers again, she overheard James talking to someone on his omnitool, and she swiftly came out of her room. He was done working and maybe there was something new she could be distracted with. “Hey, James,” she said while sitting on the couch next to him. She was wearing her N7 sweatpants and a white tank top. it’s like she bought the whole store the day she became an N7 recruit. “Are you finished working?” Impatience all over her voice.

James sighed and turned his head to look at her and smiled. “Finally, yes. Acker is coming, I’m gonna grab dinner and I have a date later tonight.” He said that so casually that it almost hurt. A date no less.  _ Probably with one of the girls he met the other day _ , Shepard thought, her bad mood just went worse.

“Oh, okay.” Her gaze stared at the window trying to mask her disappointment.  _ What the fuck? I mean, well, he can go outside, he doesn’t need to be trapped here with me all the time, but an actual date? _ James looked at her, smiling. “Have fun, Lieutenant. Have a beer for my health, will you?” she added, upset at the situation.

“I intend to have a couple more, but thanks, Lola.” He started picking up the datapads from work and tossing them aside. “I’m going to take a quick shower.” He just left her there, clearly annoyed.

James had to suppress a laugh as he closed the bathroom door, and started getting undressed.  _ She’s gonna be so mad. She is so mad, and I can tell. I’m playing with fire, but I don’t care, she looks so damn cute when she’s angry. Or maybe she is jealous. _ Something went through him like electricity at the thought of her being jealous. He had decided that morning he had to cheer her up somehow. Shepard was anxious about the trial, and he had noticed. If he couldn’t get her outside to have some fun he’d bring the fun to her. James didn’t know why making her happy was so important to him, but he was eager to. Also, he needed this to figure out what was going on between them, to spend some time together like… friends. No expectations ahead, but just to ease a bit the tension of the situation. By the time he got out of the shower, he checked Acker was already there, distracted with his omnitool, while Shepard was still pouting at the window.

Shepard was still thinking about the infamous date James supposedly had tonight. She had no right to be jealous or anything, but she thought maybe he had an interest in her. She had caught him looking at her more times she could remember, and they had shared some intimate moments together which meant something special for her. She felt safe and plainly happy around him. He was attracted to her, he had to be. She obviously misunderstood the situation and she had to deal with it now.  _ Don’t get involved with your crew, haven’t you learnt anything since Kaidan?  _ she thought. _  Though technically he isn’t my crew. Worse, he’s my guard and I could get him in so much trouble getting involved with him. Besides, who says I want to get involved with him. Nothing happened. He’s not interested. I don’t need that right now.  _ Shepard tried to convince herself but lost track of her thoughts when James came out of his room in some old jeans and a way too tight black shirt that hugged his muscles in all the right places. She tilted her head and, unconsciously, bit her lip.  _ Damn, he is hot _ , she thought, and decided to be nice to him to not ruin his date being weird about it. “You cleaned up nicely, James, lucky girl,” she said.

“Thank you, ma’am.” He winked at her while putting on a leather jacket too old and worn off, that suited him surprisingly well.

“Right to the heart, Lieutenant.” She pretended to be hit by a bullet. “Right to the heart, leaving me alone on a Friday night and calling me ma’am,” she joked. Or tried to, but he laughed anyway. As she saw him leaving, she felt sad and lonely, and sighed at the window.  _ He looked happy and very, very handsome, _ Shepard thought.

James had left one hour ago and she was already tired of reading. Acker wasn’t much fun either, not like being with James. She went to the kitchen and opened the fridge just to stare at it for a moment until she saw there was like ten beers there. “Acker, why is there beer here? And why hasn’t anyone told me?” she asked.

Acker nearly jumped at the question but reacted quickly. “Oh, James and I like to have a beer from time to time when we’re off duty, and I restocked the other day,” he nervously rubbed his neck.

Good enough for her.  _ I might have one or two tonight _ . Shepard said to herself while keeping two beers in the freezer. She liked her beer ice-cold if possible, they would be perfect in half an hour. Suddenly, she heard someone at the door. Acker hurried to the entrance and she overheard a  **“** Thanks, man” and a “Goodbye, Shepard” from Acker.

“Bye, Ackers!” she managed to say. “James? Did you forget something?” she crossed her arms and looked at him suspiciously. He was carrying some paper bags, that he quickly left on the kitchen countertop, before looking at her.

“Hey, Lola. Now that you mention it, I did forget something earlier,” he said, closing the distance between them and joining her beside the still opened fridge.

“So? No date?” She stepped aside, a bit puzzled, as he closed the refrigerator door and rested his right forearm on it. Shepard leaned on the counter with her arms still crossed and looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

“I forgot to ask my date if she had plans tonight.” His smile was so sweet that she could almost see he was a bit nervous about what he was going to say, but he didn’t hesitate. “Are you free tonight, Lola?” A slow smile brightened her face as she saw the Lieutenant slightly blushing.

“You said you had a date tonight, James,” she quickly stated.

“You’re my date, Lola” James was surprised at how sure he answered that. “I never said otherwise.” He moved his hand to the counter next to her waist. Shepard rested her hand on his forearm in response.  _ Always warm, Jimmy _ , she thought.

“You’re still gonna pay for this, you know,” Shepard warned him.

“I said I had a date tonight with someone special, and that I was going to grab some dinner first,” he chuckled. “By the way, I hope you like Thai food because that’s what we’re having **,”** he said, intrigued at how she was going to make him pay for the little deception he carried on today.

“Someone special, huh?” He rubbed his neck. Shepard was going to tease him about not having said yes yet, but who was she going to fool with that one. She just grinned at him, released the grip on his arm and turned around to inspect the food bags he had brought. Suddenly, she was feeling hungry. “Smells good enough. Let’s eat, Mr. Vega, before it gets cold,” she said, taking a peek at him just to find him grinning too.

Perfectly iced-cold beer pouring down her throat, so cold and so bitter she almost finished the whole bottle in one gulp. James stared at her as he followed a drop of water running down her neck and finally getting lost down her cleavage. He swallowed and felt the pressure down his body.  He couldn’t deny being attracted to her since, well, always. She was his kind of woman: strong and fierce. Everything in conjunction was just perfection to him. However, sharing the same space with her had been a real challenge to his hormones. He had lost track at how many cold showers he had to endure when his brain had betrayed him with images of her naked body, and the things he so badly wanted to do to her. He had also lost track at the many times he had surrendered to his instincts.

“That’s why I always put two beers in the freezer, the first one just disappears,” she laughed. Her laugh was music to his ears, he liked to see her happy. She deserved that much, even if it wouldn’t last past tonight. He took a little pride at the thought that her happiness was because of him.

“Easy there, Lola,” James said, “I don’t want to have to carry you to bed tonight. Well, I would, but not completely  _ borracha _ .” She laughed again. They were comfortably placed on the couch. He was reclined next to her with an arm over the top of the couch, where the tips of his fingers could easily touch her hair if he dared to, and she was sitting on her legs, her body turned to look at him. They’d been flirting all night like they weren’t alliance marines anymore. Tonight, they were Shepard and Vega, Lola and James.  _ She looks so beautiful _ , he thought. She was slightly blushing from the alcohol and the flirting, her eyes were shining, and he had never seen her smile that much before. He was mesmerized while she was telling him yet another story about Commander Shepard and her crew. He envied them so much, being able to fight at her side. He could only hope one day she would tell a story about him the same way she was telling him now about the day she had become a battlemaster for Grunt, and had hit a krogan with her head. All on the same day.

“So, the only way to shut down a krogan who’s starting a fight with you is a headbutt. Really hard and really fast, don’t hesitate or he will know and crush your skull,” she insisted while tapping her forehead. “I had a hell of a headache later that day.”

“Is there something Commander Shepard hasn’t done, beaten or fought against?” James asked.

“Well,” she wondered “I don’t have any tattoos,” Shepard said, at the same time she reached out to touch his neck and traced his tattoo with her fingers. James felt his heart race against her touch. “I like yours though, they suit you, like they belong there. Just like your scars.” She lengthened her hand to touch a scar on the edge of his lower lip, and he let out a growl. Then, he instinctively tilted his head against her hand, with her thumb still rubbing his lip. James stared at Shepard with hunger while she glanced at his lips. He was tempted to kiss her thumb, open his mouth and let his tongue stroke her finger, but he was paralyzed by her spell, feeling the room spinning.  _ Cobarde _ , he said to himself.

Shepard had wanted to touch his lips for a long time. Though not with her fingers. What she wanted was to kiss him deeply until they were out of breath and panting. She could feel his heartbeat speed up, his breathing going faster, and the lust in his eyes. For god sake, she could even imagine the room down his jeans getting tighter because of her, and she was barely touching him.  _ Shepard, you’ve had a few, you’re getting into trouble _ **_,_ ** she said to herself. “Does it mean something?” she finally managed to say.

He met her eyes and smiled. “Fehl Prime.” Then he looked away, trying to escape the images that were invading his mind right now.

“Do you want to talk about it? I mean, I’ve read the reports.”  _ Great, Shepard, you just killed the mood, s _ he thought.

“Not tonight, Lola. I don’t think I could bear it,” he sighed. She knew she had stepped into quicksand and didn’t want to intrude. They would talk when he was ready. Anderson had told her he was in a pretty bad shape when he picked him up at Omega, right before she handed herself to the Alliance. She wanted to know more though, but this wasn’t the time.

“Where do you keep the good stuff, James? Because if I’m going to tell you about the time I kissed a turian I’m going to need something stronger than beer,” she tried to cheer him up and bring him back to her.

“You did WHAT?” His eyes wide open.

“Good stuff first, Vega,” she demanded. James stood up and went to his room to come back in a few seconds with a bottle of  _ José Cuervo _ . He left the old bottle there for her to inspect and went to the kitchen to get two glasses.

“This belonged to my  _ tio, _ and it is for very special occasions. He has two crates of this stored like it’s liquid gold, so It better be worth it. Also, this is strong stuff, Shepard, way worse than ryncol,” He warned her.

“Have I ever let you down, James?” She looked at him playfully. He poured a small portion of the liquid into both glasses and hold onto them. “I will decide that after I listen to your story, Lola.”

Shepard closed the distance between them and set one hand on his leg, dangerously close to his inner thigh, and another one over his hand, still holding the glasses, and then she whispered: “Or maybe we can have one now and, if you like my story, we can have another one later. What do you say, James?” She lowered her voice when she said his name, looking intermittently at his lips and his eyes. His little crush was now a huge wave of feelings, emotions, and needs that he didn’t even know he had until that very moment. He blushed like a teenager and handed her one of the glasses. “Thank you, James.” A wicked smile he had never seen before showed up on her lips, and he fucking loved it to death. There was the real flirting, not the childsplay he’d been pulling off, and the way she had said his name.  _ Por Dios, Lola _ , he thought.

Shepard emptied the glass and cleared her throat to proceed with the story. “We were on the Normandy, of course, we had completed a tough mission involving Garrus and an old friend of his who had betrayed him,” she paused, “by the way, we’re talking here about Garrus Vakarian, codename Archangel. He wouldn’t forgive me if I didn’t properly introduce him like that. The thing is, he and I ended up on the main battery with a bottle of Serrice Ice brandy for me and a bottle of Turian brandy for him. We started drinking and feeling sorry for ourselves...”

“Lola,” James interrupted. “I gotta say I’m already jealous and you didn’t even get to the kiss,” he articulated, alcohol getting to his head already.

“As I was saying, we were drinking and remembering the good old times, that’s something Garrus and I do very often, when Joker scared the hell out of us talking on the comm to suggest we should share our alcohol with him because he was bored of our endless banter. If you ask me, he shouldn’t have been listening, but that’s a completely different story.” James served another two rounds. “So, Garrus and I invited him to the main battery to drink with us. An hour later, or a couple of hours later, I don’t really remember how much time had passed; Joker said we looked like an old marriage, and we laughed, then he asked us if we hadn’t even kissed once after all this time. Don’t ask me how Joker’s mind works because frankly, I don’t even wanna know.”

“So, you kissed Garrus,” James said.

“Of course not! We’re professionals here, James. Let me finish.” Shepard chuckled. “Garrus said he had never kissed a human before, but if he had to kiss one it would be me.” James grunted, and she smiled at the little complaint. “And I said I’d kiss Garrus for a thousand credits. He wasn’t very happy with the price I set for him, but he came along. Joker said:  _ hell yeah _ and set ten hundred credits on his omnitool. Why he wanted to watch, that I really don’t know either, let’s blame it on the alcohol. So, there I was, in front of my best friend, that happens to be a turian, trying to figure out how to approach this enterprise. Joker suggested to do some research and Garrus agreed, but if I had thought about it a bit longer I might not have done it, and I really wanted my credits.” She leaned towards him and reclined one of her legs over his lap to get even closer. James swallowed as she placed her head on his arm, on the top of the couch. “So, I just got really close to his face, closed my eyes and pressed my lips against his… well, his face. And then I kissed him.”

“Maldito pendejo suertudo,” he cursed. “How was it, Lola? Did you like it?” he curiously asked at the same time he was filling up both glasses with some more tequila, that they quickly emptied.

“I was surprised at how warm his “lips” were. I expected something cold and “snaky” but he wasn’t like that at all. He was kind of sweet, you know, I got carried away and sneaked a little tongue here and there and that he liked very much. I could tell by how he pulled me close with his arm on my waist when I did it. He’s such a shy guy, you wouldn’t expect that from him. Then we started laughing and we couldn’t stop for at least fifteen minutes. I thought I’d die there, I’m serious, and Joker kept yelling something about his pancreas. But, on the other side, I won a thousand credits and I got to cheer my best friend up that night.”

“So, you liked it,” James asserted. “Damn. Would you do it again?”

“Why, James? You sound like you want to find out by yourself. If so, maybe we can arrange something,” she said, glancing at him. He swallowed hard and kept her gaze, his lips parted with anticipation and his mouth suddenly dry. “I bet Garrus would kiss you for a thousand credits.” That wicked smile again. James laughed and poured another round, feeling already way too dizzy and drunk by the alcohol and her presence. He just wanted to shake the urge of kissing her right now. He didn’t want to kiss her while he was completely drunk and not in control of himself. If he ever got the courage to do it, he was going to give the best of him.

She granted him another smile before standing up in front of him. She lost her balance for a second, but a steady hand gripped her hip and stabilized her. “ I think we should call it a night, Mr. Vega,” she said to him, clearly drunk as she could barely stand on her own.

“Lola, how the hell are you standing up? I can’t even feel my legs. I’m most definitely not standing up or even trying to. In fact,” she chuckled. “I feel like I’m gonna pass out sooner than later,” James drunkenly said.

“You know what they say about me, fight like a leopard and drink like a krogan, or was it run like a krogan and fight like a leopard? I don’t think they mentioned the drinking at all now I think about it.” By the time she finished her sentence, James was already passed out on the couch. She smiled at him and took off his boots with a bit of struggle, and covered him with a blanket.  _ Poor thing _ , she thought. Shepard sat on the floor beside him, leaning her back against the couch. She listened to his steady breathing for a while, and thought about how much she cared about him, how much he meant to her and how fond of him she was in such a short period of time. She turned around to look at him, and she wished she could kiss him, right on that scar over his lower lip. She touched her own lips with her fingertips and then his. Shepard was going crazy about him by the second.

Obviously, she wasn’t thinking straight, but he made her feel things she had buried deep inside her. Since Kaidan. Shepard sighed and wished him a good night while running her hand through his hair, and kissing his forehead. No harm was done.  _ Damn, he looks so handsome right now _ , she thought. While she was opening her bedroom door, she heard a rusty growl coming from him. “Buenas noches, Lola,” James said, and something that resembled a smile appeared all over his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had so much fun writing this one... I hope you did to reading it!


	11. The trial

It was 3:00 AM and Shepard was wandering around her room in a grueling way. Six more hours and it would be over. Her military career, her life, everything she fought for all these years. She had no family, growing up on the streets wasn’t easy, but she had managed. She was strong, and her resilience kept her alive until Anderson found her when she was twelve years old and took her to an Alliance orphanage. The man even paid for her tuition later on. Life hadn’t been easy there either, but it offered her a future. Shepard tried to enlist at fifteen, at sixteen, and finally at eighteen. And it made Anderson proud every single time. He visited her whenever he could, and she was beyond grateful for it. He was like a father to her, but the Admiral had his own family issues. Thinking about him made her heart ached about tomorrow, Shepard hated to disappoint the people she loved. She had hit rock bottom and frustration set tears in her eyes as she angrily clenched her jaw to try to stop them. She wanted to scream so badly, this wasn’t fair, she had given her life to the Alliance to get nothing in return. Shepard wanted to be out there, gathering people, preparing, fighting the Reapers. She had never been good at sitting tight and doing nothing.

James wasn’t sleeping either as he could listen to her pacing around the room over, and over again, and it was killing him. James yearned to talk to her but what was he going to say?  _ Hey, Shepard, I’m sorry they’re going to remove your ranks tomorrow _ . He was sitting on the bed with his head between his hands. Suddenly, he stood up and went looking for her. He had to do something.

Shepard went outside her room and found James in front of her door. She looked at him with the most intense eyes, asking for help. He read her in a second and shortened the distance between them, holding her. She surrendered to his embrace, his big arms around her so tightly she couldn’t breathe. Her face buried in his chest, feeling the soothing beating of his heart and the warmth of his body. And she cried. Her hands wrinkling his shirt at his back. James knew she was crying and his heart broke. He hugged her tighter and felt her shuddering under his embrace, so James kissed her on the head. Shepard smiled, still crying.  _ Damn it, Vega.  _ James loosened his grip and their eyes met. “How are you, Lola?” he asked while grabbing her hand and taking her to the couch.

“Better now.” A shy smile brightened her face. He looked at her with concern. Her eyes were slightly swollen and red, and there were marks of tears on her flushed cheeks. Shepard tried to blur them away with her arm.

“You just reminded me of my chispita, Lola,” James told her and a shadow clouded his eyes. The memories of Fehl Prime overwhelmed him.

“Chis-pi-ta?” Shepard asked curiously, sniffing.

“There was this little girl, April, at Fehl Prime,” James began to say. “I used to call her chispita.” Shepard took his hand into her lap. “We used to play from time to time and she always went looking for me when I was doing my rounds.” He briefly smiled at the memory, he hadn’t talked to anyone about her. “One day, I couldn’t play with her, and she got really upset at me, crying like I did the worst thing imaginable to her. She was inconsolable, her eyes were red and swollen, like yours, and it broke my heart.” Shepard knew this was important to him as his voice cracked down. “I just hugged her until she calmed down, then she released herself from my arms and smiled at me like nothing happened. You just reminded me of that, Lola.” He smiled, but it was a sad smile, and she knew exactly what had happened to that little girl.

Shepard kissed the palm of his hand. “Thank you.” She wasn’t crying anymore. She wasn’t feeling desperate. She had a purpose. Shepard looked into his eyes with determination. “We’re going to win this war, James. It doesn’t matter what happens tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow because we will be fighting this war day by day, battle after battle, until everything is over, and the Reapers are all burning in hell. I will give my life if I need to.” James nodded, and he could feel the determination mazing her words as a strike of fear crossed his mind at the thought of her death. “And tomorrow is just another battle.” They both smiled and stared each other’s eyes until she broke the silence.

“You know, if everything goes sideways tomorrow, I can always steal the Normandy and go rogue. That’s what Jack would advise me to do.” She chuckled remembering her old friend. “Would you come with me, Vega?” She winked at him.

“To hell and back, Lola,” he said, and she believed him.

They didn’t get much sleep that night. They had stayed on the couch, neither of them wanting to be alone. James had made coffee and they watched the dawn together through the windows. Vancouver was a beautiful city, indeed. James’ gaze was lost in the city while Shepard was contemplating him. The cool light of the morning looked beautiful against his features. His strong jaw covered by a light stubble, giving him a rough look that didn’t match the big heart he had hidden inside. His eyes were golden brown with a hint of musky green, kind eyes that she loved. He was handsome in his own way, a tough soldier, a grunt -like he used to call himself- a big bulk of muscle and strength, with a big scar all over his nose. But he had the sweetest of smiles, his embrace was caring and warm, like being home again after a long journey. He was home to her. Shepard was mesmerized by the beauty and the strength of the man in front of her, and she felt her heart pounding. And then it hit her, as clearly as the light that was starting to fill the room.  _ I’m falling in love with him. _ She had believed maybe she was just attracted to him, that it was just a physical thing, a fling, but no. She had been living in this small place with him for the last three months, and she thought maybe it was just that, but she was in love. Once again. And she got scared, like the morning after he’d been shot, when she had helped him with his wound and he had slept in her lap. This wasn’t the time to let love dictate her life, wasn’t it? James looked at her and smiled, interrupting her thoughts. Shepard didn’t say anything. She needed to get ready. James grabbed her arm and his thumb caressed her skin as he spoke. “Everything will be okay,” he said.

She smiled because she knew he was saying that to himself more than to her. “Of course, it will be okay, James, I’m Commander Shepard.” She winked at him. As he saw her getting into the bathroom, he sighed. _I’m going to lose her._ _They’re going to take her away from here, from me._ He ran a hand through his hair trying to shake off the nerves. _And I won’t be able to do anything about it. She doesn’t deserve this. It’s just wrong._ He went to his room to get ready while anger and frustration grew inside him.

When he got out of his room he saw her standing near the countertop of the kitchen. A magnificent view of Commander Shepard in her blues. She was standing there firmly, with both hands behind her, and her head high up. There was nothing casual about her stance, but at the same time, it looked so natural on her. Her hair was tied up in a tight ponytail and James admired her slender neck, wondering how soft her skin would be behind her ears. She glanced at him with a face he’d only seen once before, on the day he had met her. He stood firmly and executed a military salute. “Commander.” It was a reflex, his body had moved before he could even think about it. She arched an eyebrow and salute back. “At ease, Lieutenant.” Her presence filled the room.

“We should go,” James said, and she headed to the door with decisiveness, but stopped halfway.  _ It is now or never, Shepard, _ she thought.

“James.” She turned around to look at him. “If they take me away today, and I don’t get the chance to talk to you again.” She swallowed. “I want to tell you that you’re a hell of a soldier, that I wish I had known you under better circumstances, and that our time together - her voice broke - means the world to me.” James raised a hand to touch her face. Shepard smiled at his touch and closed her eyes. James’ heart thumped faster as he stepped closer. She could feel his warmth and placed a hand on his chest while opening her eyes to find him looking intensely at her. She opened her mouth, wanting to kiss him so badly. James licked his lips and stroked her cheek with his thumb. He was ready to kiss her, ready to devote himself to her no matter what would happen next. James was leaning closer when the door opened and startled them. He quickly removed his hand from her face and she removed hers from his chest.

“Good morning, Acker,” James said.

“Good morning, Vega,” Acker greeted back.

“Good morning, Acker,” Shepard said.

“Good morning, Commander.” Acker looked at them intermittently, frowning.

Shepard sighed. “Well, if we’re all done greeting each other we should get going,” she asserted and left the apartment, leaving both confused men behind her.

It had been a quiet ride. Shepard had stared at the window with a steady face all the way there. She was hard to read sometimes, James knew he had made a bold choice earlier and when he thought about it, he knew she wanted it.  _ Shepard wanted me to kiss her _ , he repeated, trying to convince himself he hadn’t messed things up. He shook the thought off quickly, as they were arriving at the Alliance headquarters.

When Shepard saw Anderson at the hall of the building, a bitter taste settled in her mouth. This was as hard for him as it was for her, she was aware of that. James’ presence beside her gave her confidence, though.  _ One more second and we could have kissed _ , she thought, biting her lip.

“I assume everything went well, Lieutenant?” Anderson asked James.

“Yes, sir,” James answered. She noticed how serious and professional he was acting, and she loved it. She suddenly had an urge of seeing him in full armor, dirty and sweaty, barking orders. That kiss they almost had earlier.  _ Damn it, Shepard, stop thinking about it _ .

Anderson looked at Shepard and hugged her tightly, bringing her back to Earth. “Everything will be ok, child,” he said.

“Why does everybody think I need a hug that won’t let me breathe, for fuck sake? I’m fine!” She complained, with a rebellious attitude, but she wasn’t angry, and Anderson knew her too well to take her seriously. He glanced at Lieutenant Vega for a second, frowning.

“Everybody, huh?” James flushed and swallowed, staring at the elevator doors that conveniently opened right away. Now they just had to wait for the committee.

_ Por Dios, was she angry! _ James thought. He’d never seen her like that. There was no trace of that crying woman he comforted last night. The second she got in the apartment she went straight to her room and he could hear her slamming the drawers of the closet. She had been quiet, angry but quiet, and now there was an earthquake around him.

If she could’ve, she would have slammed the door.  _ Damn futuristic stupid doors _ , she thought. She ripped the buttons of her jacket taking it off and went outside again, screaming. “They took away my ranks!” Shepard yelled. “But that wasn’t enough for them, they also had to doubt that the Reapers are real.” A groan of exasperation left her lungs. “Stating they have to keep gathering information to consider,” she snorted, “to fucking consider, preparing against them.” James stood there, keeping the distance and thinking about something to say that would calm her down, if it was possible. “Are they fucking blind? We have enough proof and footage to prove they are real, they just dismissed everything I ever said and punished me for it.” She paced around the room. “I swear to god I sometimes find really hard to believe how politics fit into our lives. They fucking had to humiliate me, taking my medals, my dog tags, my fucking dog tags. Shit,” Shepard breathed out.

James thought she was going to hit a wall or something. “Lola, you need to calm down,” he said and she granted him a fierce look, walking around the room like an angry wolf in a cage. He found that horribly sexy and scary at the same time.

“I’ve been fighting the Reapers for almost two years, well, more if you count the two years I spent dead. Because I fucking died for them already. The Alliance is just another stupid Council too scared to face the consequences and do something,” James could nothing but agree with her on that one. “Not to mention that they will send me to a regular detention center as soon as possible,” her anger seemed to ease at the thought, but quickly came back. “To pay for my war crimes,” Shepard snorted again. “Can you believe it? It killed me when I couldn’t warn the batarian colonies and had to blow off a mass relay, but Harbinger was there, and they were coming. We weren’t ready. And we’re still not ready.”

“Shepard, –he wouldn’t dare to call her Lola right now- change to something more comfortable,” James said. “We’re going to dance.” She wickedly smiled at him and disappeared into her room. A hint of fear crossed his face.  _ Esto va a doler _ , he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> James' last sentence "Esto va a doler" means "This is going to hurt"


	12. Blowing off steam

The gym was almost empty, and they’d been warming up in the ring for some time now. James was beyond excited to be sparring with her. Shepard was an N7, and he knew what she was capable of. Or so he thought. They stuck with a peaceful rhythm first. Hit, hook, dodge. Hit, hook, dodge. Easy to follow, perfect for warm-up. They moved in circles, keeping an eye on each other. Fists up. Feet dancing. Out of the blue, Shepard landed a punch on his left cheek. It hurt like a bitch. James stepped back and looked at her with a mischievous smile all over his face. The real fight was about to start.

She was fast, maybe too fast for him. But he was starting to read her movements. Every time he missed, he learned why. Shepard was dodging him gracefully, then landing a punch on his ribs, his face or his jaw. His lips twitched into a smile when he recognized the movement she had done earlier and landed a punch exactly to where she was going to be, with enough strength to make her lose her balance.

“Very good, James,” she said, clearly impressed while rubbing her jaw. Her approval run through him like a drug, but she threw a punch at his stomach and bent him over. “Don’t get yourself distracted, Lieutenant.” He laughed and positioned himself again, picking up the pace. She was amazing, the way she was moving, like an animal, something wild emanating from her. He felt aroused at it and got distracted again. It cost him a punch right on his left flank.

“Damn it, James, it’s like hitting a wall,” Shepard complained.

“I thought you liked it, Lola,” he answered, dodging her jabs, but without enough time to counter-attack.

“Your abs or hitting walls?” A wicked smile lifted the corners of her mouth. “Because I’m really fond of one of those things.”

_ Flirting while sparring _ , James thought and repressed a chuckle.

She was full of surprises. James used that distraction to try and hit her in the ribs, but she dodged him, and the impulse sent him against the ropes. She cornered him and worked her way landing jabs on his forearms until James pushed her forward and used his bulk to compromise her balance. Shepard stumbled but took a defensive position quickly. He swiftly landed a right at her ribs, and then a hook at her jaw. James got carried away and she grabbed his arm by the shoulder and tossed him into the canvas with a knee over his chest. They were panting, clearly out of breath. James glanced at her, amazed at how this woman, half his weight, had taken him to the ground so easily. She was stronger than he thought.

“You’re really good at this, Lieutenant,” Shepard said.

“You haven’t seen anything yet, Lola,” he teased her, accepting her hand to stand up.

They were both laughing, getting ready for some more action. She was starting to feel better about the trial, the anger fading and their worries at bay.

“She’s kicking your ass,” someone said while approaching the ring, and Shepard would recognize that voice anywhere.

“Kaidan! What are you doing here?” She asked, surprised.

“It’s been a long time.” Kaidan climbed up the ring. “Sorry, we haven’t been introduced yet. Major Kaidan Alenko.” He extended a hand to James.

“Lieutenant James Vega,” he said, frowning at him but accepting his hand.

“Can I take the Lieutenant’s place?” Kaidan looked right into her eyes. “For old times’ sake.” A wicked smile on his face.

“Sure, I can kick your ass too if you want,” Shepard was definitely not happy about the arrangement. “I haven’t seen you since Horizon,” she said. A lightning of guilt crossed Kaidan’s eyes. James was really puzzled at what was happening. Who the hell was Kaidan Alenko and what the hell was he doing here? He watched as Kaidan took his jacket off and started warming up in a corner.

“Lola?” He almost begged for some intel.

“It’s ok, James,” she said, turning his back to Kaidan. “He’s…” she hesitated, “my ex-boyfriend. He served under me on the SR-1.”

_ Very appropriate _ , James thought, holding back his jealousy as best as he could.

“Anderson probably told him where I was after the trial. Check your omnitool.” She was right, He had a message from Anderson notifying him about the Major.

“You’re right, Lola,” he said, looking at her, and before he could ask anything else, Kaidan called her.

“Are you ready, Ali?” He used her first name on purpose, maybe to hide her identity, but James clenched his jaw as he watched Shepard getting ready. She didn’t answer Kaidan. She just threw a punch that Kaidan barely avoided.

_ Damn, she looked faster than before _ , James thought.

Shepard dodged the next round of hits Kaidan tried to land on her, and then, she threw a cross in his jaw. Kaidan’s biotics flared blue around him, dimming the pain.

_ He’s a biotic! _ , James was surprised, and saw how Kaidan tried to get closer to her, while she delivered blow after blow to him, his biotics radiating at every hit. Kaidan was smiling despite the beating he was taking, and James didn’t like that. Shepard took a punch on her left cheek that made her pound a knee on the canvas. James wanted to kill that  _ pendejo _ so badly he almost jumped at him.

“I see your biotics are on fleek, Alenko.” Shepard refused to use his rank. Not right now.

“Always,” he said, smiling at her, which only made her angrier. At him, at the trial, at everything in sight. He had grown a beard since she’d seen him on Horizon. It seemed like an eternity ago. And damn he was handsome, Kaidan had always been so striking, there was an aura around him that lured her.

James handed her a bottle of water, using the brief break, and she turned around to face him.

“Thank you,” Shepard said. James noticed how her hands and forearms were red and irritated, and he frowned. She saw his concern. “He’s using his biotics to tease me,” she explained. “It’s like electricity. Makes fighting biotics a bit annoying. I should’ve dressed my hands but what the hell,” she flexed her hands, feeling them suddenly numb. “No pain no gain.” Shepard winked at him and came back to the Major. James was so angry right now, all he wanted was to be up there kicking his ass, not watching them like an idiot.

Shepard managed to hit some blows on Kaidan that made him grumble with pain. One on his jaw, another one on his ribs. The last one made him double over. Kaidan shortened the distance between them and grabbed her arm, pulling it behind her and getting dangerously close. He flared his biotics, and she groaned in response, feeling the pressure all over her skin, that familiar tingling that once made her shudder and tremble under his touch. James’ blood was boiling hot. He was a second away from jumping there and crushing Kaidan’s skull with his own hands, but he knew he couldn’t step in the middle of a fight. She was Commander Shepard and she got there on her own. She didn’t need a knight in shining armor fighting her battles for her.

“Damn you and your biotics, Kaidan,” she cursed at him, but the Major chuckled and strengthen his grip.

“We need to talk, Ali,” he whispered into her ear, feeling the rumble of his voice and the pounding of his biotics through her.

_ What is he playing at?  _ She thought.

“You know you can’t get out of this,” he challenged her.

That’s all she needed. “The hell I can’t,” she warned.

Shepard reached for his shirt with her useless hand at her back to distract him. Before he could react, she threw a rabbit punch at the base of his neck with her free hand, and he stumbled confused and in pain.

_ Sorry, Kaidan, that was foul play _ , she thought.

As soon as he loosened up his grip, she turned around to sucker punch him again right in his face, taking advantage of him. His biotics were burning her at every touch of his skin. She jumped on top of him and they both fell on the canvas. Then, she sat on his chest with a fist in the air, ready to be released on his already bruised face. Shepard felt Kaidan’s hands on her thighs, smiling at her from below. Memories of another life startled her and she got scared. It had been so long, too long. Shepard stood up, breaking contact. “Fight’s over,” she said, helping him stand up.

“Some things get better with age,” Kaidan said, touching his jaw.

“I’ve played your game,” Shepard said. “What do you want? She was back at her corner with James, that was quietly watching them, trying to wrap his head around what was going on.

“Fair enough,” Kaidan conceded. “I wanted to say I’m sorry about the trial.” He looked at her, she could read the honesty in his eyes, that was something she had always loved about him.

“You could’ve sent a message, you know. You didn’t have to come all the way here to spar,” she said, clearly annoyed at the unexpected visit.

“You have a tendency at not answering my messages, Ali.” He was dead serious this time. “Look, I believe you, the reapers are coming, and they’re foolish denying it. I know because I’ve been there.”

_ Of course, the asshole wouldn’t say it’s because he trusted her _ , Shepard thought and snorted.

“I screwed up on Horizon,” Kaidan swallowed, “and I still don’t get what you were trying to do teaming up with Cerberus, but I believe you. I may not trust you, but I believe you.”

Shepard sighed _. That’s the best Kaidan can do as an apology _ , she thought. “Thank you, Major. And congratulations.”

“Thank you, Ali.” He put on his jacket, glancing at her and then at James. “Goodbye, Lieutenant.” And with that, he disappeared outside the gym doors.  _ Just like Horizon _ , she bitterly thought.

James was still angry at the guy who had just showed up out of nowhere. He knew she had been involved with some Alliance guy, but putting a face and a name to him was a whole different story. He was beyond jealous. But he tried to leave that aside as it was the last thing she needed right now. A jealous grunt. Shepard rested one arm on his shoulders and helped herself out of the ring.

“Quit a show,” she said.

James tried to mask his anger by smiling. “Let’s go. You should take care of those bruises,” he said, pointing at her arms. Shepard looked like a mixture of upset and angry right now, and it eased his heart. “Come on, Lola, I may have kept a beer in the freezer for you earlier,” he said while hanging an arm around her shoulders. She smiled and grabbed his hand in appreciation of the gesture.

“My hero,” she teased him. “Thank you, James.”

_ I’m an adult woman and I can’t reach my back to apply medigel where my ex-boyfriend decided to burn his biotics all over me _ . Shepard thought _.  And I used to like his biotics. Not anymore, K.   _ She had been pondering about whether to ask for help from James or not. She wasn’t shy about her body. She had spent enough time in the military life to have gotten over it by now. But it was James. He had almost kissed her this morning. She was certain about it. Shepard didn’t know what exactly, but there was something between them.

She’d been in the bathroom for quite some time now and James was getting worried. Shepard wasn’t badly hurt but… the bathroom door opened. He swallowed as he saw her coming out wearing sweatpants and a bra. His jaw dropped and he slightly blushed at the view. James forced himself to look into her eyes, and not at the bare skin of her body.

_ Behave yourself, pendejo _ , James lectured himself.

“I’m sorry, James, but I really can’t reach my back and it stings like a bitch. Can you help me?” Shepard asked a bit embarrassed.

“Sure, Lola.” He swiftly entered the bathroom following her. He took the medigel Shepard was offering and stood behind her. Their eyes met in the mirror in front of them and it only made them blush even more.

“Oh, come on, we’re soldiers. I’ve had to shower in front of a whole squad for months, and I’m sure you had to, too,” she said, trying to ease the tension.

“Yeah, you’re right,” he chuckled,  _ but I didn’t find any of those pendejos as sexy as I find you _ , he thought. James started applying the stinky gel over her shoulders as she tied her hair up. “How the hell did he manage to do this?” James asked her.

“Kaidan is a biotic,” Shepard rolled her shoulders into his hands, she liked his touch. “A powerful one. It didn’t hurt, it’s like a flow of energy. But he let go too much,” she explained. “I’m used to his biotics because… we used to spar together.”  _ And a lot more _ , she thought.

“You mentioned he was your boyfriend?” He asked casually, but he really wanted information on the subject, if there was something going on between them, he wouldn’t want to interfere.  _ Not that I could _ , James sadly thought.

“We had a relationship and then I died. Kind of a deal breaker, you know,” Shepard joked. “Then I teamed up with Cerberus to take down the collectors and that was too much for Mr.Right, so we parted ways,” she sighed. “I’m just sad that we cannot be friends anymore, and that after all this time, he still doesn’t trust me,” she shivered at the cold touch of the medigel down her back.

“Sorry, I’ll warm it up,” James said. She could feel his warm hands on her back, stroking the medigel into her skin in circular motions, and she slightly bent over the sink.

“That feels good, Vega,” she said with a low moan. James had never heard anything more reassuring than her moan of pleasure under his touch, and he flinched.

_ Me estás volviendo loco, Lola,  _ he thought. His body was already reacting to her. James couldn’t help looking at her beautiful breasts in the mirror. He tried to concentrate on the skin on her back, where the bruises were, but his gaze went down and down to take a sidelong glance at her beautiful round, and it was too late. He had a full hard-on.

_ Maldita sea _ , he cursed at himself.

Shepard realized she was enjoying his touch too much by the way she was leaning against the sink and moaning, but his hands on her back felt amazing. She wanted them all over her, his lips trailing her neck down to her collarbone.

_ You’re way out of control, Shepard _ . She opened her eyes and caught him looking at her ass. It felt so good to be desired and wanted. She slowly stood straight again. “Thank you,” she blushed, still thinking about how his hands would feel all over her body.                 

“Do you need help with something else, Lola?” The flirty tune of his voice made her shudder. “Maybe somewhere else?”

Shepard grinned and rolled her eyes at him. _ I wish you were serious, James… I would let you do anything to me right now,  _ she thought. She turned around to face him. “No, but you have a bruise.”

“Me? No, I’m fine,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Yes, you do, right here.” She poked his left side, right below his ribs and he grunted in pain. “I’m sorry, James,” she said. “Let me see.” She pulled up his shirt to reveal the most perfectly sculpted abs she’d seen. She bit her lip and gently touched his skin, for medical purposes, of course.

“To be very fond of my abs you punched them nicely, Lola,” James joked, masking his arousal.

“Thank you for the help, Lieutenant,” she said, smiling. “The shower is all yours,” Shepard left and James stood there, wishing her hands were still over him. He started getting undressed to take a quick shower before dinner. It had been a hectic day.

James didn’t know what to think anymore, standing there in the shower while the warm water ran down his body. Shepard seemed interested in him, they were close and all, but he couldn’t believe it, in fact, James was scared to death.

_ What if she rejects me? _ he thought.

Even in this weird situation, they were still Alliance marines and fraternization was severely punished. That’s the last thing Shepard needed. James had both hands against the wall, looking down at his feet and the consequences of seeing Shepard half-naked. One of his hands went down his body, unable to help himself, remembering her beautiful back and ass.

_ I wonder how your lips taste, Lola... _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always wondered why Kaidan didn't visit Shepard when she was on Vancouver...


	13. Dream on

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some fluff and slight smut with my favorite pair. And some humour too, I had so much fun writing this chapter and I regret nothing! This was going to be two separated ones but it made more sense just to throw them here together.

Shepard was in a strange white room that sickeningly smelled of blood and medigel. Her head moved while her eyes tried to recognize the place, she could barely see anything but a blur filling the space. The lights were too bright and hurt her eyes as she tried to fix her gaze in the ceiling. She couldn’t stand up either, no matter how hard she tried. Shepard could feel her body but, unable to move it, she panicked. Fear started crawling all over her as needles poked all over her body injecting something warm and cold at the same time. It stung. Whatever it was burned her flesh from the inside. She tried to scream to ease the pain, to set herself free from the torture. An alarm was pounding in the background, piercing her hears and punishing her brain. She screamed, and screamed, but no sound came out of her mouth. Shepard knew she was dreaming, but she couldn’t wake up, she needed to wake up.

 _Wake up, wake up, wake up,_ she begged.

James was sleeping like a log in his bed when he suddenly woke up to a vivid scream. _Am I dreaming?_ He heard another one. It came from Shepard’s room. He stood up and swiftly run to her room, opening the door to find her sitting on the bed, breathless and nervously panting. There was no light except for the one coming in through the door.

“Bad dream?” James asked.

Shepard had her fists pressed against the bed, holding the sheets and covered in sweat. Some of her hairs were stuck to her forehead and neck. Catching her breath with trouble, she felt James sitting on the bed next to her.

“I’m fine,” Shepard said with a husky voice.

“Lola...” he tried to comfort her. James really wanted to hug her and ease that pain as he knew what nightmares could do to a soldier. He’d been there. Damn, he still was. _We do things and see things no one ever should_ , he thought. It wasn’t easy to cope with that.

“I said I’m fine, Lieutenant,” Shepard harshly told him, realizing she was being a bitch at the only friend she had. “Just give me a moment, please,” she asked, fixing her gaze in the floor in front of her, because if she looked at him right now, she would burst into tears, and she didn’t want him to see her crying again over a stupid nightmare. The door made a blunt noise when James left.

She remembered the trial. _“We will transfer you to a regular detention center as soon as possible.”_ She remembered the exact words because they were stuck in her head. _What about James? Damn this is what I was scared of, being dependable, caring about him, being weak. I’ll have to do this alone. Even if he doesn’t feel the same I’m already in deep shit._ She got out of the bed, still slightly shaking, and went looking for him. _I’m giving up everything for this damn war and we haven’t even started. I don’t care about the Alliance anymore,_ she thought **.**

James went straight to his room, sick with worry. But if she didn’t want him around he would wait. James lay on the bed staring at the ceiling. He really couldn’t control his emotions around her anymore. Last time he had cared too much, invested too much… they all had died. He closed his eyes trying not to drift into his memories.

 _I can’t pretend I don’t care about her, I…_ he thought, and heard his door opening. It was Shepard.

“I’m sorry, James,” she apologized, “I was a bitch and I’m so sorry, you didn’t deserve that.” Shepard walked towards the bed and lay down next to him.

“Don’t worry, Lola, you could punch me and I’d still talk to you,” he winked at her, “besides, my abs are doing just fine,” James said, glad that she was there. Shepard saw his beautiful smile in the soft light that filled the room and melted at the man in front of her. She had never known someone so right for her.

“What were you dreaming of? If you don’t mind me asking,” James told her, a little uneasy about the fact she was on his bed, with him.

 **“** I died, you know? Have you read the report?” she asked, and swallowed because she didn’t have the heart to tell him about it with detail.

James nodded, and she sighed from relief. “I remember the day you died. I watched the news and I couldn’t believe it. They were announcing you were MIA presumed dead at Alchera and,” he swallowed, “I mourned you,” he confessed, his eyes looking at her sadly. “Even if I didn’t know you yet, I mourned you, the hero.” She closed her eyes to stop the tears again, something about James, this big strong guy, mourning her death broke her heart.

“I remember everything,” she said, opening her eyes. “I remember falling, my lungs burning, suffocating - a tear escaped and ran down her nose – and I remember the darkness, the emptiness, the… loneliness. If dying is awful, dying alone is worse. And I wasn’t even scared, I was despairing, helpless.” James reached to touch her face with his hand and she snuggled next to him, her face now buried in his neck while he held her tightly.

“You’re not alone, Lola.” James couldn’t even imagine what she had been through, first her death, and then being alive again and losing two years of her life. She usually joked about having been dead but it didn’t occur to him that it was so real for her.

“And then waking up in a Cerberus lab, under attack no less, with scars all over your body and having lost two years of your life, that’s another horror story,” Shepard managed to laugh, already feeling safer between his arms.

“I haven’t seen any scaring on your body,” he said, “I mean, eh… today, on your body, everything was fine.” James blushed and it made her smile.

“Thank you for noticing, Mr. Vega,” she teased him. “I don’t have scars anymore because I heal a lot quicker,” she explained. “I used to have scars, and I loved them, but Cerberus removed them. Sometimes I don’t recognize myself in the mirror without them.” She tilted her head up to look at him. “I like your scars, you have to tell me how you got them,” she said, running her fingers over the scar on his nose because she was positive the one over his lower lip… that one she wanted to kiss. Badly. James smiled at her and they stared at each other for a moment, until she realized where this was going and, in an act of self-sabotage she spoke again.

“You’re gonna throw your poster of me away If I keep this up,” she teased him.

James opened his eyes in surprise. “My poster? What do you mean by that? Who...?”

She chuckled and buried her head in the pillow. “Mhmhm mhmm mhm,” Shepard tried to say. He pinched her belly so she would turn around and answer. “Oh! Please don’t tickle me or I won’t be able to stop laughing. Acker told me!” She looked at him flushed, still chuckling.

“Chivato! I’m going to kill him.” James said, clearly embarrassed.

“It was just a slip of the tongue, poor guy,” she tried to defend him, “I think it’s kind of cute you had a poster of me,” Shepard said.

“I still have it. I believe. Probably at my tio’s,” James said, rubbing his neck.

“Now that you’re familiar with Commander Shepard maybe you should let me sign it for you. I’ll even write something special on it.” She winked at him.

“You’re evil, Lola. But I’ll take you there,” he promised, “I’ll show you our house by the beach, we will drink beer at the shore, I’ll teach you how to surf and you can meet my abuela. If you think my _huevos rancheros_ are good wait until you try hers.” He was so happy talking about his family that she felt a hint of envy.

“Sounds perfect. It’s a deal.” They awkwardly shook hands to make it official.

 _But first, we have a war to win If both of us survive_ , she sadly thought. She rested her head on the pillow and he did the same.

“Feeling better, Lola?” James asked.

“Much better,” she said, smiling at him. “Can I stay here tonight?” The words came out of her mouth shyly, but the prospect of coming back to her bed alone was too much.

James set aside the sheets, revealing his perfectly toned chest and abs, in an inviting way that made her burn with desire. She suddenly felt herself breathless, longing to reach and touch him. Instead, she swallowed.

“Do you always sleep shirtless, Vega?” Shepard asked him, finally meeting his eyes.

“Just for you, Lola,” James said in a low growl more animal than human.

Shepard slowly woke up, not a single memory of the last’s night nightmare blurring her head now. She didn’t want to open her eyes yet. It was still too early. The warmth of James’ body right behind her and one of his hands resting on her waist startled her at first. Then, remembering last night, she had asked him if she could sleep there tonight, and she blushed instantly. Shepard was lost in his steady breathing and sighed, not regretting her decision. Her head rested against his chest and she felt safe with his arm around her, snuggling against him by instinct, and enjoying the touch of his body against hers. Shepard was starting to feel the arousal deep down between her legs. He was still asleep, but his body snuggled into hers in response to her closeness. His lips and nose rubbed lightly her ear, making her moan.

 _That didn’t help at all_ , she thought. _Is he still asleep?_

She was delighted by the small movements of his body, and his breath brushing softly against her neck, as a warm summer breeze. Shepard closed her eyes and arched her spine with a low moan, stretching herself. James brought her over to him, with a groan, while hiding his face in her disheveled hair.

Shepard bit her lip and moaned again at the sensation of his, now obvious, hard-on against her backside. His hand over her stomach was lower than before, and it felt incredibly hot and enticing. Her heart thumped in her chest. Suddenly, James breathed in and removed his arm.

 _He just woke up,_ she thought **_._ ** James slightly moved away from her, as if he were avoiding to wake her up.

“Are you awake, Lola?” His whisper was deep and husky.

James felt her body against his as he was waking up. He knew if he’d sleep with her in the same bed he was going to crawl to her like a magnet, even in his sleep. James sensed her body moving and snuggling against his and it sent a shudder of pleasure all over him. He was too turned on to think straight, so he drew her closer to him while a groan escaped his mouth. He buried his face in her hair.

 _Mi Lola…_ he thought.

James felt his arousal down his groin, and then it hit him, that she probably could feel it too.

 _If she wakes up with my hard-on at her backside I’m going to die of embarrassment_ , he thought.

So he slowly removed his arm from her stomach and sighed in disappointment. _She’s probably still asleep_. He sat on the edge of the bed and turned around to look at her, with her back at him and still covered by the sheets.

“Are you awake, Lola?” His whisper was deep and husky.

“Kind of, yeah. Good Morning,” she said, turning around to briefly look at him, still biting her lip. “I think I’m going to take a shower.”

“Remember we have to go today for the last session of your psychological evaluation, and then Anderson wanted to see us in his office,” he said, trying to clear his head as best as he could while checking his omnitool.

“At least I won’t be bored today.” She hurried to the shower. “Good morning, by the way!” she said, again.

“You already said that Lola, but good morning to you too.” He glanced at her with a half-smile on his face as she left. A long sigh left his lungs. _I have to do something about this_ , he thought. _This evening. When we come back. I have to tell her how I feel about her. But I’ve never been good with words. I will stutter and make a fool of myself. Vega, pull yourself together. If you want something you have to go for it, because who knows how long we will be staying here._

Shepard quickly removed her clothes and turned the water on. She looked at her reflection in the mirror.

 _I can’t go anywhere like this. I can’t think straight. I need to tell him. But what if I fuck up? What If I jump into something like I always do, and I end up losing him. What if he’s not even interested, he had stopped fraternizing when he had joined the military, or so he said. I don’t want a one-night-stand. Well… No! I would, but I will want more, and I cannot compromise myself like that. Not anymore._ Her thoughts punished her harder than a sparring session.

She stepped into the shower. _I need to fucking think straight_. As the water ran through her hair she remembered the feeling of his bulk against her, and his bare chest resting on her back like a wall. She led one hand to one of her breasts, panting in anticipation, and leaned back against the cold wall of the shower. Her hand ventured slowly down her stomach, thinking about James spooning her earlier. Shepard pictured his hand instead of hers, going down to touch the center of her being. She wondered how it would really feel against her, already swollen, clit.

 _This is going to be fast_ , she thought, feeling how wet she was, exploring her center masterfully.

She started stroking herself while she bit one of her fingers and raised one of her legs to place the sole of the foot against the wall, bending her knee. That gave her more space to work. It had been awhile since she’d allowed herself to enjoy the pleasure of hre own body, since she’d remembered she was still just a woman. She kept going faster, thinking about James, how his body would feel against her, how he would feel inside her. The pleasure and the arosal of the thought bursted out of her and she let go, unable to hold herself any longer as her orgasm crushed her. She slowed her pace, still enjoying the waves of pleasure that resonated through her body.

“Oh, fuck, James…” she said out loud.

After a few more seconds she recovered her breath and her brain. Not completely satisfied, though. She resumed the task in hand and started cleaning herself up, although, she thought, _I would love to smell of him all day long. Too bad_ **_._ **

James was making coffee waiting for her to finish up getting dressed. He still had chills from the cold shower he had taken. It had helped in the end. He sneezed. _This woman is gonna be the death of me_ , he thought. He was still processing the fact that he had slept with Commander Shepard in the same bed, that he was spooning her when he woke up and that she didn’t pull away. _Stop it, pendejo, there's no time for another cold shower._

 

***

“I’d rather be alone with my patient, Lieutenant Vega,” the psychologist said, a middle-aged woman with a grim face who didn’t like James very much. And the feeling was mutual.

They’d been there several times in the past weeks regarding Shepard’s evaluation, and still, she tried to kick him out of the sessions. It is true that they had gotten intense sometimes, the therapist asked Shepard deep and intimate questions that made him feel uncomfortable. But the commander didn’t seem bothered by it, not that she could help it, though.

“I’ve already told you that I have orders to stay with her at every session Commander Shepard has with you,” he informed her. “We’ve already been through this.” James let his exasperation out in his words.

“We’re going to touch sensitive topics today, and I’d like her to be honest with me.It is required that she is,” the therapist explained, but James didn’t budge.

Shepard joined in. “It’s okay, doctor. Lieutenant Vega will protect my privacy and yours as a professional,” she said. “Let’s get this over with.”

The doctor finally yielded, taking a seat on the other side of her table, and James and Shepard both sighed and looked at each other with an air of complicity while seating too.

“Today is our last session and, as we already reviewed your clinical history, your past, and the most important cognitive and behavioral patterns,” the therapist said, examining the datapad in front of her and reviewing the work already done, “we have your personal and social relationships left to analysis.” She smiled at her and it deeply disturbed Shepard.

“Let’s get through this, Shepard said with confidence. The woman crept the shit out of her, and she knew it crept James too because, after the first session, they shared some of their thoughts on the therapist.

_ This will be quick and painless _ , Shepard anticipated from her usual spot, in front of a huge desk made of glass. She had a perfect view of the therapist’s legs and it was kind of distracting. James was behind her, sitting in a small reception area with two armchairs and a lot of stuff to play with, such an iron ball and some weird puzzles. Her first visit she had sat there with her, maybe to make it more casual and less formal. A nice deception. The room wasn’t very big though, and James could effortlessly listen to the conversation. She didn’t mind at all, she knew he had read the reports and her military files. And, after this morning, she had nothing to hide from him anymore. Shepard smiled at the little noises James was making while playing with some of the stuff, clearly bored to death and they hadn’t even started.

“So, do you consider yourself a friendly person, Mrs. Shepard?” The psychologist fixed her eyes on her, as usual, waiting to read an extra answer in her eyes besides the one coming out of her mouth.

“I have friends, and I’d say I’m rather friendly,” Shepard answered, feeling a bit stupid about the question itself.

“Do you currently keep in touch with said friends?”

“No, I am under surveillance and I have no contact with anyone but Admiral Anderson and Lieutenant James Vega. Well, and our other guard Lieutenant Ackers,” she promptly replied. “Are you trying to catch me in a lie?” Shepard joked.

“Not at all,” the therapist waved her hand in the air. “I have a procedure and we have to follow it, even if some questions are not accurate for your current situation.” Shepard sighed and thought about the committee and wished them a headache as bad as the one she was getting from this.

“Do you miss your friends?” The therapist continued. 

James thought this was going to be boring and annoying, two hours sitting here, listening to all those stupid questions. _ Of course, she misses her friends! She’s in a shitty situation and she can’t even talk to them,  _ James thought, playing with the heavy iron ball in his hands.

“Yes, of course, I miss them. Some of them were part of my crew and I’m very fond of them,” she said as her eyes turned a little sad at the thought of their friends being so far away from her.

“Are you in a romantic relationship?” Again, fixing her penetrating eyes on her.

“No,” Shepard answer was short and curt, as much as the question was inappropriate.

“How long since you’ve had one?” the therapist asked while James repressed a chuckle in the background.

“Do I count the time I spent dead?” the persistent woman in front of her arched an eyebrow. “Fine. I haven’t been in a romantic relationship since the Alchera incident, almost three years ago,” Shepard finally said.

“Have you intended to?” The doctor kept checking things on her datapad as Shepard’s answers didn’t even matter.

“I was kind of busy taking down the collectors,” Shepard said.

“Do you know the reason for the breakup?” the therapist scratched another one.

“I died. It wasn’t the same after that,” Shepard answered, clearly pissed. “Is this really necessary?” She was hoping not to go deeper in that subject, she wasn’t in the mood for some Alenko memories right now.

“Yes, I’m afraid they want a full evaluation and that includes very personal aspects of your life, the good news is that it’s only routine,” the psychologist said. “When was the last time you’ve had sexual intercourse?”

“Really?” Shepard’s eyes opened wide, meeting the – still creepy as fuck – therapist’s eyes. “Like a year ago, I think.”

“Human or alien?” The therapist asked like she just asked for a coffee.

“You did not ask me that, right?” Shepard said, clearly offended at the question, and, on top of that, James chuckled in the background, unable to hold himself. “I’m pretty sure that question must be illegal somehow, you know.” Shepard was getting annoyed, the Alliance didn’t need to know that, that didn’t need to be in anyone’s record, it was private stuff.

“Please, answer the question,” the therapist inquired.

“Human. Do you want to know his name too?” James’ chuckling stopped. “I can’t understand how is this relevant to the Alliance.”

“Names won’t be necessary, and the Alliance won’t have access to our interviews, I promised Anderson I’d make the evaluation myself and only hand a final report to the authorities. Your privacy is safe,” the therapist explained but didn’t ease Shepard’s concerns.

_ A year ago… _ James thought.  _ How long it’s been for me? Since Omega, yeah, blonde girl _ . He felt a bit bad that he didn’t even remember her name and looked at his distorted reflection on the metallic ball between his hands.

“As I see on your clinical history you have no sexual diseases,” the psychologist continued and skipped a few questions.

“Yay! I get to skip a question! Shepard squealed, pretending to be excited about it, and heard James snorting behind her. Well, no question could be worse than that so she relaxed and hoped for the end of this torture and the cold well-deserved beer she will have afterward.

“Do you masturbate, Mrs. Shepard?”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Shepard said, swallowing and feeling suddenly the palms of her hands sweaty against her thighs.

“Please, answer the question,” Shepard swore in her head that if the therapist repeated that sentence one more time she was going to snap.

“Yes, I do, like any healthy person would do,” she said, trying to politely smile at her – and failed - She wished she could glance at James just to see his face right now. On the other hand, James thought this was getting somewhere really interesting, still playing with the heavy ball in his hands and repressing the chuckles.

“That’s what we’re doing here, Mrs. Shepard, evaluating that you are indeed, a healthy human and nothing else. Do you masturbate regularly?” Again, the piercing gaze right into Shepard’s eyes.

“Whenever I feel like it,” she said defiantly.

_ Please, change the subject. Please, change the subject…  _ she begged.

“When was the last time you masturbated, Mrs. Shepard?” James tried so hard to suppress a guffaw that a snort came out of his nose, leaning forward to listen better to the conversation.

_ I wish I could see your face, Lola,  _ he mischievously thought.

“You really have to be kidding me right now,” Shepard complained. “How can that even be relevant!” She could feel her face turning bright red.

_ I can lie. I’ll lie. But I’m a terrible liar. I wish she stopped saying masturbation, though. Fuck it. _

“Please, answer the question,” the therapist said, again. And Shepard snapped.

“This morning!” She said, raising her voice.

James unceremoniously dropped the ball right to the floor, and it made a plonk that startled Shepard. The psychologist looked at him with an unfriendly face, ready to a reprimand, as the ball rolled making an annoying sound until it hit Shepard’s right foot.

“I wish you didn’t interrupt my session, Lieutenant Vega,” she complained.

“Sorry doc, it slipped my hands,” he said, repressing the smirk on his face as best as he could. “I’ll put it back.” By the time James stood next to Shepard he had a smug grin on his face. She didn’t turn around to look at him, so he positively knew she was blushing. He sure had been blushing at that question in front of her too.

_ I’m gonna be picking on her all day, this is gonna be fun,  _ he thought.

She reached for the stupid ball at her feet, noticing he was waiting at her side and turned around to see his smirk mocking her.

“I believe that’s mine,” James said and took the ball from Shepard’s hand.  _ She is so cute when she’s blushing _ , he thought. Their eyes met, and she blushed even more if that was possible. The doctor stared at James until he was sitting again and the ball in its stand.

Shepard was mortified. _ He’s going to be picking on me all day. I want to die, s _ he whined.  _ Please, no more embarrassing questions, I’ll send the Reapers to hell if you don’t ask me more… _

“Did you have an orgasm? The therapist asked and interrupted Shepard’s thoughts.

“Fuck yes, I did. Thanks for asking! That’s more than the other guy did a year ago,” Shepard said wryly.

“Very well, Mrs. Shepard,” the therapist sighed. “I apologize for the intimate nature of the questions but, so far, you’re a very healthy woman.” Shepard gave the psychologist the steady’s stare of her life.

James laughed to himself, biting his tongue as hard as he could, and still processing the information he just got, and thinking about ways of teasing her about this morning.

_ This morning… with him still asleep beside her? No that couldn’t be, although that’d be as hot as hell if you ask me. _ The thought sent a shiver up his spine and another down his groin.

“Do you have any paraphilias you know about?” The therapist didn’t bother to repress the twitch on her lip as a smirk showed up.

Shepard murmured something to herself and sighed deeply.  _ This was supposed to be easy, fast, and painless...  _ she thought.

An hour and a half later, and lot more embarrassing questions, James and Shepard stepped outside that awful room that she will never want to see again in her life. He was grinning but didn’t say a word. He just walked next to her in silence. Grinning. Until they got to the elevator and the doors closed behind them.

“So, Lola,” he started saying.

“I don’t wanna talk about it, James,” she said, glancing at him and hiding a smile as best as she could.

“Come on, Lola cut me some slack.” He looked like butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth. “You know I’d never ever tease you if you couldn’t handle it”, he said, getting closer to her and flinging an arm around her shoulders.

“Spit it out, Vega,” Shepard said. “I have no secrets for you, apparently.” She looked at him with a half-smile on her face.

“I just want to say, with all due respect,” his wonderful husky voice was music to her ears. “That I took a cold shower this morning, Lola, that’s not fair at all…” They both chuckled, and she blushed again. But she was happy. Happier than she could even remember.

 

Right after the session with her therapist, James and Shepard went to see Anderson. The three of them were standing in front of the big windows that filled the front wall at his office, but neither of them was enjoying the view, considering the news.

“I’ve been talking to John, from the committee, you know him,” Anderson told Shepard. “He says the Alliance will be taking you into custody tomorrow or the day after tomorrow.” Shepard deeply sighed but kept a straight face. “They will transfer you to the detention facilities in the south of the city. It’s not a bad place, and it’s not far from here. You won’t be as comfortable as you are now but,” Anderson interrupted himself as he was speaking.

“I’ll be fine,” Shepard reassured him, knowing the man had done everything in his hand to keep her safe since she arrived at Vancouver some months ago.

“You have a lot of enemies, child, and you will be alone and locked in a room. I made sure they transfer you to a high command cell, so it will be more comfortable than a regular one, but nothing fancy,” Anderson said.

“It’s not fair,” James intervened.

“When has anything been fair, Lieutenant?” Anderson smiled at him.

“What about me, sir?” James asked, trying not to show any of the fears and anxiety that startled his thoughts at the moment.

“They don’t want you or anyone close to her around. Not even me. I have no saying on the guards that will be assigned to her if they are assigned at all.” He seemed frustrated at the subject like he’d been fighting over it again, and again without any result. “All I know is that they will pick her up and signed her off at the detention center as soon as possible,” Anderson explained.

“Can I speak freely, sir?” James asked, and Anderson nodded. “That doesn’t sit right with me. Something’s off. That’s not Alliance procedure.” Anderson and Shepard agreed with the Lieutenant, but it was an order from above, there was nothing they could do right now but comply.

“I know. I don’t trust them. That’s why I’m going to ask you to follow her to the facilities and make sure she gets there in one piece,” Anderson said. “Off the record, of course.”

“Yes, sir,” James agreed and smiled, glad he could still take care of her.

Shepard was quiet, looking out the window and listening to James and Anderson as they spoke. “It’s a trap,” she suddenly said, interrupting them. “They’re up to something. I don’t know who’s behind this, but we need to find out. Do they know where am I staying right now?”

“That’s something I wanted to tell you too,” Anderson sighed, thinking about the consequences of what he was going to say next. “Major Alenko was called the other day for interrogation and gave up your location to the committee.” Anderson was furious, she could see it through his calmed mask. “And that is my fault.”

“We will just move her to another place. Tonight,” James said with a hint of anger in his voice. “We still have the safehouse, sir.”

“Safehouse?” Shepard asked, looking at James clearly confused.

“It was a plan of escape if things got rattled,” he answered. “And I’d say things are getting there pretty quickly.”

“Deserting the Alliance is a serious crime, Lieutenant,” Anderson arched an eyebrow at him, knowing his past. “Shepard’s career might be over forever if she does that. There’s no turning back once that decision is made,” Anderson warned James.

“Let them take me whenever they want,” Shepard said, giving up. “The Alliance wants to control my every move. Let them do that. I’ll play along until they see fit to release me. I just hope the Reapers won’t come while I’m locked up in a cell.”

“I don’t know why they insist on carrying this parade. Your physical and psychological evaluation, the interrogations, your house arrest and now your imprisonment. It’s show business, all of it.” Anderson was shattered.

“Thank you, David. For everything you’ve done for me all over the years. It means the world to me,” Shepard told him. “I know you’ve done everything in your hand to get me out of this, Hackett too.” Shepard granted him a sweet smile that warmed James’ heart when he saw it. She looked at him and her smile widened. “James, can you leave us alone for a moment?”

“Sure.” James smiled at her and left to wait outside the door.

“I see you and Lieutenant Vega are getting along just fine?” Anderson curiously asked her.

Shepard slightly blushed and smiled at the thought of him. “He’s a good soldier,” she said.

“And a good man too. That’s why I chose him. He was loyal to you way before he even met you,” Anderson told her.

“That’s not what I wanted to talk about, though.” She sighed again. “Assuming this situation with the Alliance is temporary. I’m still a specter. If the reapers come, if there’s a chance I can fight them as a specter instead of an alliance soldier I will. I want you to know that” Shepard confessed, waiting deep in her heart for Anderson’s approval.

“And I wouldn’t blame you for it,” the admiral said.

“But I am Alliance, I owe my life to it and I will honor that. Always.” Shepard breathed in. “If they finally give me back my Commanding rank and my ship. I want Lieutenant James Vega assigned to the Normandy.” She looked directly into Anderson’s eyes.

“When fear hit them, they will reinstate you. And when that happens I already have your orders and Vega’s ready,” Anderson assured her. “You know, when I met him after the attack on Fehl Prime he was broken.” Anderson stood firmly with both hands behind his back looking out the window. “But James was still wearing a commemorative pin of the Normandy SR-1.” Anderson turned his head to glance at Shepard. “And I don’t think I can push him away from you even If I tried.” The smirk on the old man’s face didn’t go unnoticed by Shepard.

“I hope the SR-2 is good enough for him,” she said, pleased at his answer.

“Go say hi to Nina, she’s worried about you.” His secretary had always been nice to her since she was a child, and had to wait for hours outside Anderson’s office.

“I assume you want to speak to James in private,” she arched an eyebrow at him, at the way he just dismissed her.

“You assumed well, child.”

Shepard headed outside the office to find James seating with his elbows resting on his knees and looking at the door in front of him. “He wants to talk to you,” Shepard told him, and watched, amused, the expression on his face.

A shudder went through James’ spine at her words, and he couldn’t figure out why. He stood up and left Shepard talking lively to Anderson’s secretary while entering the office again to speak to Anderson, who was reclined on his desk and gestured him to come in.

“Shepard said you wanted to talk to me before we leave, sir,” James said with a steady face.

“I don’t like to fool around, so I’ll get to the point,” he said. “I’ve seen how you look at her, Lieutenant, and I know that look very well. You care about her.” Anderson looked at him thoughtfully.

“Sir, I…,” James stumbled over his words.

“You’re just as damned as I was when I rescued her when she was twelve years old, or worse, I’m afraid,” he laughed. “Shepard has that effect on people, you just want to follow her to hell.” James didn’t know what to say so he just stood there while Anderson lectured him. “It’s ok Lieutenant, I chose you because you’re a good soldier, and you’re loyal to her and to the Alliance. She has a war to win and she’s going to need you.”

“And I’ll be there for her no matter what, sir,” James said.

“I know you will. I trust you. She’s like a daughter to me, you know?” Anderson said with a firm stare directed at him. James swallowed hard. “Do whatever you have to do to protect her, Lieutenant.”

“Yes, sir,” James saluted him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it ! Thank you for your kudos and your comments <3 By the way, the next one.... will be something else!


	14. What goes up...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James finally gets his shit together (finally).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is going to diverge from canon because we still have three months until the Reapers come and there's something I want to explain first, and then somewhere I want to go... I hope you like it !!!
> 
> The wonderful art featuring this chapter is from [@luastardust](https://archiveofourown.org/users/luastardust). You can check his tumblr [here](http://starsandskies.tumblr.com/) too. Oh! And she's writing a shega too! Go check it out <3

[X](http://starsandskies.tumblr.com/post/167975401471/innercherryblossomsoul-commissioned-me-to-draw)

  

Shepard was going to miss all those times they had joked in the elevator where they were standing right now. The Alliance was determined to punish her and there was nothing else Anderson could do about it. Shepard thought about packing all her things just in case she had to leave in a rush, so she wouldn’t forget anything. But leaving James behind was heart-breaking. Maybe it was for the best. _If we stop this now there’s no harm done_ , she thought.The elevator took longer than usual to get to their floor and she snapped out of her thoughts, frowning.

“Where are we going, James?” Shepard asked, glancing at him to find a smug smile spread on his lips.

“Took you long enough, Lola, you must be distracted,” he teased her.

Since the night she had helped him with his wound shot they had been craving each other, and since last night, sleeping in the same bed and waking up together, there was an undeniable attraction between them. The elevator stopped. Shepard looked at James puzzled, realizing it was the last floor of the building. Her heart thumped in her chest wondering what he was up to.

“I promise you it will pay off,” James said, glancing invitingly at the stairs in front of them.

Shepard frowned but followed him obediently. She was getting goosebumps all of a sudden. After four floors of stairs, he looked at her over his shoulder and opened the door. A cold breeze washed her face and sent a shiver through her body, making her wish she had her hoodie right now.

The roof of the building was deserted, concrete floor and an open blue and orange sky. It was getting dark as the sundown reigned on the horizon. She walked to the edge of the rooftop to admire the beautiful sight of Vancouver. Shepard breathed in the cold air and filled her lungs with something that tasted like freedom, closing her eyes for a moment and turning around to find James next to her. James smiled, knowing she would love being up here after such a long day and the bad news. She grabbed his shirt with one hand and let it hang there, looking at him and inevitably smiling.

“Thank you, James,” she said, relishing on the strong features and scars of his face, beautifully placed on his right cheek and lip. Shepard wished she had enough time to memorize all of them before it was too late. She was going to miss him so very much that the thought ached her heart in a way she hadn’t expected. Commander Shepard wasn’t allowed to be weak. Commander Shepard didn’t fall in love. Commander Shepard was lost in his hazel eyes. James took a step and closed the distance between them.

 _Don’t pull back, Lola, please_ , he thought.

She let go of his shirt and flung her arm around his neck. After the past few months, the Lieutenant didn’t need more than that. James grasped her waist and cupped her face, bringing her even closer. All his body, desperately warm, was touching hers. Shepard gasped as their foreheads touched. The need of him was overwhelming.

“Lola,” he said, a groan of accomplishment leaving his lungs.

Shepard opened her mouth to let go a moan that sounded like his name while he gently caressed her face with his nose, tilting his head to a side, finally trapping her lips in a sweet slow kiss. James took his time, his eyes closed and his mind foggy and dizzy by the bliss he was feeling right now. A tentative kiss that left no doubt she wanted this as much as he did.

She ran her fingers through his hair and he deepened the kiss, grunting while opening his mouth to find hers already open and inviting. Their tongues stroked shyly one another after so much longing. To James, she tasted like a well-fought battle coming to an end. And she relished his lips and his tongue, feeling his eagerness, and the joy of finally having him at her mercy was too much. She wouldn’t let go. It was unbelievable that some moments ago Shepard thought they could stop this from happening.

A whine escaped Shepard’s mouth, gasping for air, for more of him, with both of his hands going down her back to grab her ass. He loudly moaned when he finally reached her backside. The intensity slowed down, thumping hearts and panting mouths, both catching their breath as James landed small kisses on her swollen lips.

 **“** James…” she finally said.

James buried his head on her neck, a little embarrassed, while she lowered both hands down his chest and abs to finally hug him, afraid she was going to fall, feeling her legs wobbly and weak. Shepard took pleasure in the closeness of his toned muscles against her trembling body. They weren’t ready to let go yet.

“Lola, I am sorry it took me so long to kiss you,” he whispered into her ear. The enticing rumble of his voice sent a shiver through her spine, as she rested her head on his shoulder, facing his neck, where she kissed his tattoo, feeling his pulse pounding on his neck. She had wanted to kiss him for so long, and now there was no going back.

“Don’t worry,” she said, “I’ll let you make up for it.”

“Oh, I intend to, believe me,” he playfully answered her, chuckling at the relief of being kissed back. With all his fears left behind, James felt deep inside how much she wanted this.

Their eyes finally met, both of their bodies still relentlessly pressed together. She reached his face with one hand and caressed his scar with the thumb. Then, she just kissed him, like she had wanted to do for so long, looking directly into his hazel eyes. He grunted with desire and caught her lips again into a deep kiss that left her helpless against him. James won’t have enough of her in a lifetime. His hands exploring her body with newly acquired confidence, drinking her moans like a thirsty man. He broke the kiss and grabbed her chin with his hand, touching her swollen lips with his thumb when she mischievously let her tongue out to lick his finger, looking at him with burning desire.

“You’re in so much trouble, Vega,” Shepard said, and that ignited him like gasoline and made his member twitch in pleasure. She could feel his length pressing against her and smirked. It’s like they just started a fire.

“Por Dios, Lola...” He pressed his lips to hers madly and bit her lower lip.

“We need to go back now, Lieutenant,” Shepard impatiently said against his mouth, lust all over her words.

Suddenly, James’ omnitool started beeping. It was a call from Acker. They looked at each other and sadly broke their embrace, already missing each other arms.

“Take it, it must be important,” she said, folding her arms on her chest and leaning on the railing, trying to mask her frustration.

“If it isn’t, I’m going to punch him,” James said and answered the call. “Acker, what’s up?”

“The Alliance is here. They’re searching the apartment and asking for Shepard,” Acker said, his voice coming out from the omnitool like a sharp blade. James’ eyes met Shepard’s. She was listening to the conversation, and he saw a hint of fear in her eyes. “I told them you were going through an escape route with her in case of emergency, but they’re not happy. You have to come back as soon as possible, Lieutenant.” Acker finished and hung up.

They both looked so frustrated and sad at the idea of being separated right now. He kissed her on the forehead and hugged her with his left arm.

“I’m sorry, Lola, but I’m going with you wherever they’re taking you, even if I have to follow them,” James promised her.

“I’ll be okay. It can’t be that bad,” she said. She was really uneasy about it, but she didn’t want him to worry. They started walking towards the roof door. “Hey, James,” she wickedly smiled at him. “You know you’re gonna have a hard time going down the stairs with that not-so-little problem you got there, right?” She reached his belt with her finger and teased him.

James’ laugh echoed in the roof. **“** It’s all your fault, Lola. **”**

 

When they were finally inside the elevator, Shepard had an itchy feeling down her nape.

“This isn’t right. I have a bad feeling, James,” she said.

“Mierda, I thought I was the only one,” James agreed, having thought the same. “Here, take my omnitool, with a bit of luck they won’t notice until it’s too late.” James handed her the little device and she put it in her hand.

“That way you can trace me and yo’ll know exactly where they’re going to take me.” She gave him a cunning smile. “Good thinking, Lieutenant.”

“I’m body and brains, Lola. Don’t sound so surprised,” he said, winking at her. The elevator was only two floors away. Shepard put an arm around his shoulders and kiss him again, deeply, longing, so he would know how much she was going to miss being with him. James held her close and grunted against her, breathless. He didn’t need to breathe anymore. He just needed her.

As soon as they went out the elevator they didn’t have time to react to what was really happening. There were five fully armed Alliance marines waiting for them, one of them was Kaidan and Shepard frowned as soon as she saw him. Acker was behind them with fear and worry on his face.

“What’s going on Kaidan?” Shepard asked him directly but didn’t even look at her.

“Ma’am, step aside and put your hands against the wall,” one of the marines ordered her.

“Hey, do you know who you’re talking to?” James protested. “Show some respect.” A death-threatening glare in his eyes. But Shepard had her eyes fixed on Kaidan, waiting for an answer.

“Obey, Shepard,” Kaidan finally said, meeting her eyes. “We’re just taking you to the detention center as it was established.”

“In the middle of the evening? With four armed Marines? Do I have to remind you that I’ve surrendered to the Alliance already?” she said, her face steady.

“Ma’am, I won’t ask you again,” the same marine ordered again.

“Alright,” she yielded, putting her hands on the wall and waiting while the marine frisked her.

“She’s unarmed, por Dios!” James yelled. Shepard tried to make eye contact with James to tell him to calm down, but he only had eyes for the marine and his sneaky hands. He didn’t do a great job, as he was unable to find James’ omnitool, but as soon as he was done he violently hit Shepard’s head against the wall and gripped both her wrists at her back, pressing her against the wall and cuffing her. She didn’t try to resist but grunted at the harsh treatment she was receiving.

“That’s enough!” James said and punched the marine right on his cheek. The guy fell on the ground confused by the hit. But one of the others hit James right on his temple with the back of his rifle and a bright red spur of blood came out of his forehead.

“James! Don’t! I’ll be fine,” Shepard tried to tell him, kneeling on the floor beside him. “Think, don’t let your anger get the better of you, Vega.” He looked at her into her eyes, his vision blurry from the blood. Before he could answer, two marines grabbed her and led her into the elevator again.

“Force won’t be necessary, just take her down to the shuttle,” Kaidan said, getting into the elevator too, concern growing on him. James looked at Kaidan’s eyes intensely as they stepped into the elevator with her.

 _If you hurt her I’m going to rip your head off_ , James thought.

Shepard saw James’ perilous glance to Kaidan as the doors closed in front of her.

 _This doesn’t look good_ , she thought. _But if they haven’t killed me yet maybe I still have a chance_.

“Acker, call Anderson. Now!” James yelled at him while trying to stop the bleeding on his temple. “Did you check their orders?”

“Yes. Everything’s apparently in order. The command came from Rear Admiral John Kenson, it’s all legal,” Acker said, his fingers flying over his omnitool.

“Bullshit! Let’s go,” James said getting his shotgun from the apartment and handing Acker a Carnifex. “Fill Anderson in while we get to the shuttle. We’re going after her.” They were out taking an elevator before he even finished the sentence. Adrenaline rushing through his veins.

“But how…?” Acker asked, puzzled.

“She has my omnitool,” James said, a wicked grin on his face.

***

 

“Kaidan, this isn’t Alliance procedure,” Shepard said. “And you know it.” She tried to convince him while the elevator slowly went down.

The Major swallowed, glancing at her. “I have my orders: get you to the detention center as soon as possible. We will be there soon and check you in. I’m sorry they’re being so blunt. I’m supposed to be here to smooth the situation,” Kaidan explained, trying to go over his own orders for him more than for her. He had to know something was very wrong. One of the marines inevitably chuckled at his puzzled face.

“Kaidan, they’re not Alliance, you’ve been fooled,” Shepard harshly told him, hating to be right. “You’re only here because they knew I would trust a friendly face.” She glared at the amused marine.

“One thing I’ll grant you, princess,” he boldly said. “You’re smart, and yet you let us caught you.” A guffaw filled the elevator.

“What’s going on, Lieutenant?” Kaidan asked him, finally coming to his senses. The elevator doors opened, and the Major went after them as they dragged Shepard between pushes to the hall and outside the building, where a shuttle waited for them.

“We don’t need him anymore. Kill him.” Two of the mercenaries turned back and shoot at Kaidan, who already had his barrier on, and gave him enough time to take cover. He pulled his pistol out and shoot them back, looking at Shepard who was inside the shuttle. They were taking her away. In an Alliance shuttle. Getting out of his cover, Kaidan used a throw on one of the men and smashed him into a wall, instantly breaking his neck.

The elevator doors opened again and he heard a blunt noise. James blew off the head of the other mercenary and approached Kaidan, who stood up, expecting trouble and pointing his gun at James.

“Do you know where they’re taking her?” James barked at Kaidan.

“I was supposed to take her to the detention center, the order came from above, it doesn’t make sense,” Kaidan said, guilt and worry all over his face at what just happened.

“Maybe you should’ve questioned a little your orders before helping them blindly,” James said, ejecting a thermal clip from his recently acquired Crusader. “You’re lucky I have no time for you, pendejo.” Kaidan opened his eyes wide in surprise, he was his superior officer and this was no way ot treating him.

Acker scanned the bodies and sent an emergency call to the Alliance. His omnitool beeped again. “Anderson gave us a navigation point to meet him at the headquarters. We have to be fast,” the Lieutenant informed James.

“Do you know where she is?” Kaidan asked, as much as he didn’t trust Shepard this was just wrong, and being a part of it unsettled him deeply.

“Yes, I have located her and I’m tracing her position,” Acker said.

“Vamonos ya,” James yelled. He didn’t have time to stop and think about his heart thumping in his chest or his nervous panting by the adrenaline. He was worried sick about Shepard. Ten minutes ago she was wrapped in his arms and now her life was in danger.

“I’m going too,” Kaidan said, following James and Acker outside.

“The hell you are,” James growled at him, walking outside the building to their shuttle, followed close by the Major.

“If you get orders from a Rear Admiral you follow them no questions ahead,” Kaidan excused himself, even if he didn’t need to. “I fucked up, again, I need to make sure she’s alright and I need to arrest these guys. I am your superior officer, I command you to…” he desperately tried to pull rank on him, which only made the Lieutenant angrier.

James turned around to grant a blood-thirsty look at Kaidan. “You fucked up big time, I can’t forbid you to come and you might have intel we need to get her back, but I assure you that you’re not gonna arrest anybody because there won’t be anyone alive to arrest,” James harshly told him.

***

 

Shepard looked at the guys on the shuttle quietly but she didn’t recognize any of the faces. They sure as hell weren’t Alliance marines. Mercenaries, maybe, hired by someone with power and connections in the Alliance, that’s how they got to Kaidan and that’s why they used him against her.

 _Damn it, Kaidan, if you could trust me for just one second in your life_ , Shepard struggled.

“You’re rather quiet back there, princess,” one of the guys spoke to her, the same one from before. He had too much confidence to be a simple mercenary.

“I don’t talk to strangers,” Shepard teased. She was sitting in the backseat between two more mercenaries who weren’t paying much attention to their conversation, and talking to the one on the front passenger seat. “Who are you?”

“I’m nobody, you don’t need to know, but I am surely going to pay my retirement handing you over,” he said with a husky voice. “Easy clean job.”

“Do not sell the bear’s skin before hunting it,” Shepard warned him.

“Don’t worry princess, your skin is a lot prettier than a bear’s and a lot more valuable, and I’m intent on collecting my bounty.” His smile gave Shepard a shiver of repulsion.

They had taken Shepard half an hour ago and they were already in the Alliance headquarters getting ready. As James was thoroughly putting on his armor he realized how much he had missed it. The weight of the metal over his body and the touch of his under armor. He still had an unsettling feeling in his stomach.

 _It’s been awhile,_ he thought. _I can’t lose her. I need to get to her before they…_ he swallowed hard and didn’t finish the sentence in his head. “Acker, do you still know where she is?” James asked.

“Yes, sir,” Acker said. “She’s forty-five minutes from here in an old industrial area outside Vancouver. She arrived there five minutes ago.”

“We have to go, we can’t lose more time,” James ordered.

“We can’t go there without intel and without a plan,” Kaidan said, glancing at the Lieutenant. As much as it hurt, Kaidan was right. But they really needed to go now.

“Download the blueprints of the building, and a map for the roads around the area, we want military presence covering for an escape route they might take. Call another squad for reinforcements and let’s hope they don’t have a ship coming to get them anytime soon.” James gave his orders, earning a stare from Kaidan.

“I already got two reinforcement squads but I think you should go ahead Lieutenant,” Anderson said, entering the room and immediately glaring at Kaidan. “Major Alenko, I don’t know what part of do not dare to endanger Shepard you did not understand from our conversation the other day, but I didn’t expect this from you,” he harshly said.

“Sir, I got orders from Rear Admiral Kenson to get her to a Detention Center, I didn’t…” Kaidan said, but got interrupted by Anderson.

“Enough excuses, Major. You should’ve come to me first. Rear Admiral Kenson was Dra. Amanda Kenson’s husband, does her name ring a bell?” The Admiral gaze fixed on Kaidan’s eyes as he processed the name.

“She died on the Alpha relay incident,” Kaidan sighed, confused. “I’ll make up for it, sir.”

“There will be time for details later,” Anderson finished.

“We need to get going,” James interrupted impatiently. He was wearing his blue alliance heavy armor, carrying Shepard’s N7 Crusader shotgun and a lot of grenades at his hip. James was ready to get Shepard back and no one would stop him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm struggling re-writing this chapters because my english is slowly improving, but I can see the difference, and I end up thoroughly going through the chapters before I post them here. Still a long way to go <3
> 
> I hope you liked it!! I feel so bad for Kaidan, but he's so stubborn...


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